It's a Great Big World
by iamdragonrider
Summary: SG-1 has been downsized, thanks to an alien device. Epilogue posted. COMPLETE. Thank you for reading and reviewing!
1. Alien Toasters

A/N: So here we go again. This story is unrelated to the Nine Lives Universe. Although it's always possible Thor will make a Cameo appearance. I haven't settled on a season yet, only that Daniel is alive in the flesh, Janet's not dead, Sam's a Major, and Jack is still a Colonel in charge of SG-1 (I still can't make myself let go of the old dynamic and grasp the new one lol, and Sam was a Major when I started watching SG-1. So for now I'm gonna say we're set in either season five or seven pre Heroes. Will see what happens as the story progresses.

Anyway... Stargate is on my christmas list for this year so hopefully, the people tha own it now will see that I will take really good care of them and let me have them 'cos I been really good this past year. I swear.

_Chapter One: An Unusual Toaster_

The device sat on Major Samantha Carter's lab table, deep beneath the surface of the US Air Force's Cheyenne Mountain base. It was innocuous looking enough, small, gray and rectangular with no real markings on it. Well about as innocuous looking as a piece of alien technology could look sitting on a table in a top secret facility that most of the people of the planet Earth knew nothing about.

The tall blonde Major peered closely at the device again, before turning back to her laptop and typing a bit more, a frown creasing her usually smooth features and making her brow furrow as she was lost deep in thought.

"Hey, Carter! You figure out that alien toaster yet? It is a toaster right?" The sudden loud voice caused Major Carter's head to lift up quickly, and she turned to greet her superior officer.

"Sorry sir, I don't know what it is, although, I'm pretty sure it's not a toaster." The last she added with a duck of her head to hide the small smile that was teasing at the corners of her mouth.

Colonel Jack O'Neill's face fell. "It's not?"

Sam shook her head, still hiding her smile. "No sir, I'm not sure what it is, but I'm sure it's not a toaster."

"Well if you are sure." O'Neill stuffed his hands in his pockets and bounced up on the balls of his feet, then back down. "Sooo…. Lunch? I heard there's cake." He looked positively hopeful.

Sam couldn't hide her smile any more, and opened her mouth to reply, but was interrupted by the arrival of Daniel and Teal'c.

"Greetings O'Neill, Major Carter." Teal'c inclined his head solemnly to the both of them, and stood by the doorway, his hands clasped behind his back.

"Hey Sam, Jack." Daniel Jackson entered the room behind the large, dark alien man and his eyes lit on Sam's lab bench. He frowned at the object, moving to stand next to her. "Is that…"

Knowing what he was asking, Sam finished his question, "The object that SG-9 brought back from P35-789? That's the one." She moved over a little bit giving him some space to take a better look.

"When they said no markings, they meant no markings didn't they?" Daniel leaned in, peering closely at the object in question. It was about the same size as a toaster, Sam had to give the Colonel that much, but there, the resemblance ended. The object was totally smooth. It was vaguely rectangular in shape, and nearly unblemished. It was completely lacking in any sort of opening, and there were no discernable levers, dials, knobs or buttons. In fact, Sam couldn't even see a seam on the thing. Even the edges were softly rounded, no evidence of having been joined together. She could see no way to even access any internal parts. That is if the object in question had any internal parts.

Scientist mode in full swing now, enhanced by the interest of her colleague and friend, Sam easily tuned out everything else in the room, up to and including her increasingly impatient CO and one passive Jaffa, skillfully hiding amusement. "Yes, that's what I thought too, but if you look here," and Carter deftly flipped the object holding it out to the archeologist, pointing to a small barely perceptible mark on what was otherwise an unmarred surface, "It looks like it's a scratch of some sort, but so far the material seem impervious to any attempt I've made at damaging it."

Daniel adjusted his glasses, still peering closely at the object. Despite the lack of some sort of alien text or symbols, or maybe it was in spite of the lack, Daniel was intrigued, and Sam's enthusiasm was always infections. "So that would mean that either the material is so strong, it took something of incredible force to mar it, or…"

"The scratch is intentional, I know." Sam finished Daniel's sentence again, and Daniel straightened to regard her. "After I've finished analyzing the object for energy readings and run a few metallurgical scans, I was going to try some high powered magnification to see if…" Sam trailed off as the object she still held suddenly moved, being lifted out of her grasp. Only one person would have the audacity to attempt such a maneuver, and Sam reflexively tightened her grip on her precious bit of alien… something.

"Sir!" Sam turned to her CO, who stood on the other side of the table from her and had reached across, holding firmly onto the other end of the object, a determined look on his face.

"Carter, it's time for lunch. Now put the doohickey down and come eat with us. You can play after you've eaten. Both of you." The Colonel turned his stern gaze to include the often-errant archeologist, who had the remorse to at least look sheepish. After all, the Colonel had enlisted the aid of the other two men in prying Carter away from her lab and her shiny new alien toys and doohickeys.

Unwilling to give up quite so easily, Sam gave the object an experimental little tug. "Sir, why don't you go on ahead, I'll be right there, just as soon as I finish this last scan…" She attempted.

The Colonel interrupted her stalling. "I don't think so Carter, last time I let you go on that excuse you still hadn't shown up an hour later. So this time, no buts." He gave the object a tug back in return, and was surprised when his Major tightened her grip and leveled her gaze at him.

"Look, Sir, I really meant to go last time but…"

"Ah ah, I said no buts Carter! Lunchtime. Now. That's an order." And he gave the object a rather forceful tug for emphasis.

Unfortunately, at that moment, Major Samantha Carter had realized she would get nowhere with her CO, and had decided to cut her losses. Perhaps she could eat quickly and return sooner than he expected. She certainly wasn't saving any time by standing here and arguing with her superior. With that thought in mind, Sam Carter let go of the object with a sigh. The next several moments seemed to happen in slow motion and were to be imprinted on her mind for quite some time.

Not expecting the Major to acquiesce quite so readily, let alone let go of one of her precious doohickeys, Colonel O'Neill had been distinctly unprepared for the sudden change in forces. So he was quite surprised when the tug he'd given, which would have been adequate had the other end had still been anchored, came back at him with much more force than he'd expected, causing the smooth object to slip out of his hands and fly through the air while he backpedaled wildly, trying to regain his sudden lost balance.

The look on the Colonel's face, while he lurched backwards, pin wheeling his arms, might have been comical, but for the fact that no one was watching the Colonel. Instead, all eyes turned to track the progress of a silvery metallic object, as it tumbled through the air, striking first the corner of the table, and then landing with a resounding clang on the floor.

In the silence that followed, the slight rustle of fabric as Teal'c stepped forward and steadied the Colonel could be heard, as well as his sharp intake of breath when his appointment between his rear end and the floor was canceled by the Jaffa's well-timed rescue. The breath Major Carter had been holding made a soft whoosh, clearly audible. After several moments of tense silence one other sound could be heard. One that suddenly made all other sounds irrelevant. The new sound was an alien one. A high-pitched whine, emanating from the small, silvery metallic and vaguely toaster shaped object. And it was rapidly building in intensity.

Even as the Colonel shouted for everyone to take cover, already moving while he spoke, the pitch changed. Barely had the words left his mouth, his body only in mid turn, with the rest of the room's occupants in similar stages of motion, when a bright blue white flash was released from the object. The force of the energy wave blasted over the room and it's human occupants.

Just as suddenly, the flash dissipated, and the noise cut off as if a switch had been pulled.

When the first of the airmen responded to check out the energy discharge reportedly located in Major Carter's lab, they found the room in chaos. Papers and small objects were scattered around the moderately sized space as if a strong wind had blown them outwards, chairs were tipped over, and there was a small innocuous looking toaster sized object on the floor in the center of it all. The room was also notably empty of any living beings; there was not a single sign of SG-1 or anything else to indicate that the room had been occupied mere moments before.


	2. Puzzle Pieces

A/N: Thanks for the reviews on the first teaser chapter! It's nice to know that many of you are keeping a look out for my writing before there's even a story, so I hope this latest story will live up to your expectations. Please be warned though that life is still hectic for me, with a house being remodeled and the holidays on the way and work busier than ever, there may be large gaps in updates. So try not to kill me, because you know I write killer cliffies!

For those of you following the real life saga of Sam and Dragon, my now five month old kittens, with the various defects take a peek at the end of the chapter…

_When the first of the airmen responded to check out the energy discharge reportedly located in Major Carter's lab, they found the room in chaos. _

_The room was also notably empty of any living beings; there was not a single sign of SG-1 or anything else to indicate that the room had been occupied mere moments before. _

Chapter 2: Pieces of a Puzzle 

General Hammond looked across his desk at the young airmen in front of him, who was giving a report on the findings after the energy discharge from Major Carter's lab. "So no sign of damage and no injuries?"

"No sir, other then some papers and small items strewn about and some tipped over furniture, none that we found." The young man stood in the slightly relaxed 'at ease' posture inherent in all military personnel

"Thank you airman. Oh, if you could ask to have Major Carter paged to my office?" The General turned back to the report he'd abandoned when the alarm had sounded as the airman left his office.

Becoming engrossed in his paperwork, it took some time before General Hammond noticed that the usually prompt Major had not shown up yet. Frowning, he stood and left to summon his assistant to have all of SG-1 paged. Perhaps she had not heard the first page? Otherwise, one of her teammates would surely know where she was; they seemed to have an uncanny knack for finding each other in any situation.

After several minutes it was clear that SG-1, for reasons unknown, were not answering his summons. Lines now creased the General's normally smooth brow as he first called the main gate to see if they had signed out even though it was unusual for all four to be off base at the same time. Once he'd been assured that none of the four members of SG-1 had signed out or had been seen leaving the facility, he gave orders to have people track the errant members of SG-1 down, and put in a call to the security room for someone to review tapes of the incident to see if in fact there had been someone in the lab at the time of the energy discharge.

More minutes passed, but soon it was obvious that SG-1 could not be found at any of their usual locations, the energy discharge from Carter's lab had apparently caused a feedback surge into the security system, blanking out screens not only in the Major's lab, but in several nearby areas. Circuits had been fused and specialists were at this moment trying to salvage any sort of security footage from the moments before the discharge occurred. He was told that likely any footage of the actual event was likely lost.

The only lead so far as to the whereabouts of the now missing SG-1had been given by one of the civilian scientists who had passed Dr. Jackson and Teal'c heading in the direction of Major Carter's lab several minutes before the energy discharge, although she had been unsure as to whether that was their destination, since there were other places the two might have been headed. However, the Major's lab seemed the most likely given SG-1's history of meeting in one of the other's workplaces. Even as General Hammond gave orders for a strategic level-by-level search to begin, he was starting to suspect that the searches would turn up empty.

"Airman." Hammond addressed the young man that had come to report the results, or in this case lack of results, of the search for the missing team.

"Yes sir?" the young man replied.

"What exactly was Major Carter studying in her laboratory prior to the energy discharge?" asked Hammond.

The young airman looked at his clipboard, before replying. "Uh, looks like several things sir, including the generator from P38-526, the storage device found on P79-828, and she'd just received the object from P35-789 today."

"The object from P35-789? Is that the one that SG-9 brought back that was usual in the fact that it had no discernable markings or indication as to what it's purpose is?" The pieces of the puzzle were forming in the General's mind, and even though most of the pieces were missing, he had a feeling that the unknown device might just be playing an important role in the big picture.

The young man referred back to his clipboard again. "Yes sir, that's the one. And sir, you might like to know that that particular device was found on the floor in the center of the disturbance."

Major Carter leaving one of her precious devices on the floor? Hammond's mind latched onto the unusual event, another piece of the puzzle.

"Has anyone touched the device or disturbed the room?" His thoughts turned suddenly to damage control.

"No sir." The airmen replied, setting at least one worry to rest.

"Good, I want Major Carter's lab sealed and placed under guard until further notice. No one is to go in or out of that room without my express authorization. Dismissed" The pieces were still dancing around tantalizingly in his head. The answer was there; he just had to find it. Until then he wanted no one else to be exposed to the alien device, which he was starting to think may hold a rather important part in SG-1's disappearance. If the unknown alien object had something to do with the disappearance of his foremost team then he wanted no one else to have contact with it until someone could come up with some safeguards, to prevent a recurrence.

"Yes sir." The airman saluted and left the General's office upon being dismissed to carry out his orders.

General Hammond returned the young man's salute distractedly, his mind already turned back to the puzzle he was faced with. His best team was missing. An unexplained energy burst. An alien artifact, seemingly at the center of things, left carelessly and uncharacteristically on the floor by one of his best scientists. Just how did it all fit together? But most importantly, where was SG-1?

A/N: I am evil rotten author aren't I? Lol. Gotta make sure people will read the next chapter somehow right?

Anyway… Sam and Dragon…

I got an estimate of neutering them since they have so many issues, and also to fix Sam's hernia, and I just about had a heart attack. Get this, if I do all the work ups the vet recommends, Sam will cost me around $600 and Dragon about $400. Both cats he feels need a variety of labs, to check there blood counts, kidney and liver function, etc, and to recheck FIV and feline leukemia status. Since Dragon has a heart murmur, he needs to have antibiotics before and after his surgery, Additionally, the vet feels he needs an EKG and chest x-ray to make sure his heart looks ok for surgery. Sam, since he's a boy unfortunately, will need the cheaper neuter and also abdominal surgery very similar to the female spay. He'll also need full anesthesia and an overnight stay.

I'm looking for second opinion, but most places want $25-$30 or so just to see them which kinda defeats the purpose of finding it all cheaper. I'm thinking I may just have to skip all the preop stuff and just hope they'll be fine with everything. Otherwise, I'm accepting donations for Sam and Dragon's "Christmas Balls Fund" (hides from the tomatoes throw at the bad pun) Ok, just kidding on the donations, but I'm thinking of just asking for getting my cats fixed for Christmas lol (they're 6 months old on dec 21st!)


	3. Not in Kansas

_General Hammond returned the young man's salute distractedly, his mind already turned back to the puzzle he was faced with. His best team was missing. An unexplained energy burst. An alien artifact, seemingly at the center of things, left carelessly and uncharacteristically on the floor by one of his best scientists. Just how did it all fit together? But most importantly, where was SG-1?_

_Chapter 3: Not in Kansas Anymore_

Of the four, Teal'c was the first to regain consciousness. Stoically, the large man bit back an involuntary groan as he forced aching muscles into action and unwilling eyes to focus on the dull gray world around him. A patch of green just to his right caught his attention and he turned towards it immediately recognizing his comrade, Colonel Jack O'Neill.

"O'Neill." Teal'c reached out and touched the man's shoulder, relieved to feel warmth and the steady rise and fall of his breathing.

At his touch, O'Neill came awake with a start and a muffled groan.

"Wha-What happened? What's going on? Teal'c?" Dazedly, the Air Force Colonel sat up blinking, Teal'c lending the support of one strong hand, and looked around, frowning as he tried to take in his surroundings. "Where are we, and where's Carter and Daniel?"

Teal'c paused before answering, taking a moment to look around himself. The landscape was flat, gray, and barren, stretching out for quite a way. It was lined with cracks and interrupted by odd, well he didn't really know what they were, but they were tall and smooth and metallic looking. The lighting was odd too, seeming to hold an artificial quality. He noticed that the nearest tall pillar like object seemed to be holding up some sort of massive slab that blocked the lighting and cast a shadow. Even further in the distance he could see what looked like some sort of enormous barrier, and there were other large curious formations nearby and in the distance. Additionally, curious rectangular patches of white, which seemed to be scattered in no formation he could discern at first glance, interrupted the gray expanses.

"I have never before seen such a place O'Neill," Teal'c said quietly, as he rose to his feet. Offering his hand again, he gave O'Neill a hand up.

Jack grunted his thanks, looking about him in open curiosity as well, before shaking his head. "Well we aren't in Kansas anymore. Let's find Daniel and Carter first ok? Then we can worry about where we are, and how we got here, wherever here is."

While O'Neill spoke, Teal'c had already spotted something, rather far away. "O'Neill." Teal'c said, calling attention to what he had seen, pointing in the direction.

The Colonel had to squint to make out what Teal'c's sharp eyes had noticed, a small patch of green on a gray background. From this distance, he couldn't make out details, but it didn't look like it was moving.

"Ok, let's go, keep your head up," Jack ordered, taking point, Teal'c slipping naturally a step behind, scanning for any signs of movement or danger.

Before long, they'd reached their goal, their pace quickening as they realized that the small green lump they'd seen in the distance was in fact their missing teammates. They'd had to pass underneath the enormous slab, which they could see was anchored by four large round metal pillars.

Carter and Daniel were sprawled side by side, the rise and fall of their chests reassuring their teammates that they breathed. Reaching their goal, Jack knelt quickly by Daniel reaching for his neck to feel for a pulse, Teal'c moving to offer the same treatment to Carter.

The two stirred easily under their fingers, coming awake with groans, and both as equally confused about their whereabouts, as Teal'c and O'Neill had been minutes before.

Before long, all four members of SG-1 were on his or her feet and looking about in open curiosity.

"Any ideas kids?" The colonel was wishing he'd been fully kitted out when they got hit with that beam thing. A shame he hadn't been equipped with supplies, and his P-90, couple of Zats, some C4… well something at least. Judging by the expressions on Teal'c and Carter's faces, they were noticing the same lack.

"No sir." Came from Carter, and Daniel replied with "Sorry Jack."

Jack sighed. He hadn't expected any of them to know where they were really. "Well let's check what we have, everyone empty their pockets."

After several moments, a somewhat impressive pile was on the ground between the four of them. Unfortunately, not much of it seemed useful. There was a notepad and several pens and pencils from Daniel. A candy bar, yo-yo, some chewing gum, a safety pin and a chain of paper clips he'd been working on from his own pockets. Teal'c had been carrying several power bars, a comb, (Jack decided not to ask) and book of matches.

Surprisingly, Carter had the most items in her pockets, although the usefulness of the items was not yet apparent. Her pockets yielded a screwdriver, a handful of various screws and bolts, a PDA, more pens and pencils, a granola bar, an eyeglass repair kit (at Jack's raised eyebrow, she'd just looked at Daniel, who'd looked sheepish) a pocket calculator, small flashlight, multi-pliers and a partially used roll of duct tape. (As Jack raised his eyebrow again, she shrugged and became fascinated with her boots.)

Additionally, there was an assortment of pagers, cell phones, their ID badges and about twenty-three dollars and thirty-two cents in loose change and crumpled bills. All in all the most useful items at the moment looked like the food, and the closest thing to a weapon was the small blade on Carter's multi tool, unless you could consider a yo-yo a weapon. Experimentally, Daniel had flipped open his cell but discovered there was no reception. Disappointed, the others checked their own cells for similar results.

Frowning at the seemingly useless pile of objects, Jack sighed again. Damn alien artifacts, zapping you about who knows where.

"Ok campers, let's pack up and fan out. Stay in visual range. See if we can find out any clues as to where we are, or a gate, or something." At the colonel's order, they all reclaimed their various items, and chose a direction before spreading out, careful to stay within sight of each other.

Jack and Teal'c were just about to reach one of the odd large white rectangles when Carter called them all over. Daniel was on Carter's other side and reached her first, followed closely by the other two.

Sam was staring at a long cylindrical object, about the size of a tree trunk. It was yellow, and had pink blunt end and a sharp pointed end. There were black markings on it. Even upside down, the words "Number 2" were obvious, if a bit unexpected.

The four members of SG-1 stared at the words, and looked at each other.

Jack spoke first. "I guess it's too much to assume that the alien whatsit just made that thing really really big."


	4. Who's Fault is it Anyway?

_The four members of SG-1 stared at the words, and looked at each other._

_Jack spoke first. "I guess it's too much to assume that the alien whatsit just made that thing really really big."_

_Chapter 4: Who's Fault is it Anyway?_

They continued to stare at the large yellow object in front of them, Carter's scientific curiosity taking over and she approached the pencil, for pencil was the only thing it could be, and touched the black letters experimentally. Meanwhile, Daniel wandered over to one of the nearby flat white rectangles that formed random patterns on the ground, and frowned down at it.

"Here's your notes Sam," he said after a moment, causing the others to come over to join him.

The Colonel frowned. Carter's distinctive scrawl was readily apparent, even a foot high, at least from their perspective. "I'm thinking the guy that wrote that song about it being a small world was never in this situation."

"Sir," Carter said suddenly. "If we're so small, how is it that we can breathe? I mean, the size of an air molecule remains unchanged, however our bodies in relation to the subatomic structure of…"

"Carter!" O'Neill barked.

Sam blinked, and looked at her CO. "Yes sir?"

"Don't." Jack glared at all the suddenly large objects around them.

Carter blushed, and looked down briefly. "Sorry sir," she mumbled before going back to her inspection of her surroundings.

Daniel spoke up, abruptly changing the subject. "Jack, this has got to have something to do with that artifact from P35-789. It must have activated when you dropped it…"

"I didn't drop it." Jack interrupted quickly, defending himself.

Daniel blinked, startled by O'Neill's reply. "Um, yeah Jack. You did."

Jack glared back defiantly. "Did not."

Crossing his arms, Daniel replied. "Did too."

Really warming up now, Jack opened his mouth to reply, when a steady deep rumble overrode him. "I do believe that O'Neill was the last one to hold the object," said Teal'c. Sam had to work to stifle her giggles.

Glaring at his two teammates in mock outrage, causing Sam to smother a few more giggles until he turned his glare to include her, Jack did the only thing he could when outnumbered and out gunned. He changed the subject. "Yeah, well before we go for another round of 'whose fault is it anyway' why don't we figure out how we are going to get back to normal?"

"And that would be how?" asked Daniel blinking innocently, eyebrows slightly raised, an expectant look on his face.

"We put that alien thingamabob in reverse, that's what," Jack declared, as if it were obvious.

"Sir, I don't know if it will be that easy." Carter spoke up.

"You'll figure it out," he said dismissively. "Let's go kids." Jack picked a direction and started off.

Teal'c stood rooted to the spot. "I believe the device is in this direction O'Neill." The large man pointed, indicating the way opposite to where Jack had been heading.

Jack scowled. "I knew that. I was just checking to see if you knew it," he muttered unconvincingly before turning around and stalking off in the new direction. The rest of SG-1 exchanged glances, Teal'c with his eyebrow raised, before following.

They fell into silence, each lost in their own thoughts and observations. Along the way the encountered many of the things blown about by the force of the energy wave that shrunk them, Sam frowning at the disarray her normally neat lab was in. Ahead, Jack had discovered a coffee mug that Sam used for pens and what not lying on its side, and was busy trying to see if he could walk inside of it.

"Sir," called Carter, she was now standing by a rather large metallic silver object. No longer did the device seem to be the size of a toaster, now it was about the size of house.

Jack abandoned the mug while Teal'c took up a defensive position, checking the perimeter and Daniel went to stand beside Sam, laying a hand on the smooth surface. He quickly removed his hand when he noticed Jack glaring at him. Sam ducked around the side of the object and the Colonel moved to keep her in sight. She stopped quickly though, and Jack nearly ran into her, but she barely noticed, lost in thought as she started at something on the side.

"Daniel, can you come look at this?" called Sam, not taking her eyes off what so held her interest, tentatively reaching to touch it before the Colonel warned her off.

"No touching." He glared at both scientists as they moved to stand next to each other. Teal'c had followed Daniel and now moved so that he and Jack could see the maximum amount of area around the alien device.

"Fascinating," mumbled Daniel, bringing Jack's attention back to his oftentimes overly enthusiastic scientific duo.

"What?" Jack's glare reminding them to not use too much techno babble.

"Sir, there's writing on here." Sam pointed. Where there had been what previously appeared to be the small scratch before was now obvious symbols. Daniel had already leaned in examining them, his brow furrowed in concentration.

"Well? What's it say?" Jack demanded after several moments. When silence met his query, he cleared his throat and tried again. "Daniel?"

Daniel blinked, never taking his eyes off the lines of script that trailed up the side of the object. It looked like they were lucky the object had fallen the way it had, or they might never had seen them. "I'm not sure, it looks like an obscure dialect of Greek, but not exactly. I have some texts in my office that should help." Distractedly, Daniel turned as if to head off to his office and get the books and Jack grabbed his arm.

"Uh, Daniel. Are you forgetting something?" Jack made a motion indicating their height, and then pointed to a pen lying nearby.

Daniel flushed. "Well that's a problem," he said, frowning again.

Jack sighed. "Well the books are out, at least not right now. We probably shouldn't leave Carter's lab for now, unless we have to. I really don't want to be mistaken for a bug if you know what I mean." Sam shuddered at the idea, and the others nodded in agreement, pondering the problem.

His eyes lighting up with a sudden idea, Daniel turned to Sam. "The computer, you have a computer in here."

Catching on immediately, Sam turned towards her desk and looked up. And up. Shading her eyes from the overhead lighting, she craned her neck, picking out the edge of her keyboard poking over the tabletop. Likely it had been dislodged slightly but fortunately not knocked off the table. She frowned; walking slowly around the table to get a better look, hoping that the computer was still powered up and connected.

"Just how in the hell are we supposed to get up there?" Jack demanded, figuring out what it was his two brainiacs wanted.

"I believe I have an idea O'Neill." Teal'c strode quickly to something he had spied on their way to the alien device. It was lying not far from where the keyboard lay tantalizingly. The others clustered around the small plastic box, as Teal'c struggled with the latch.

Jack raised his eyebrows. "A mending kit?" he asked dubiously. "And just how is a mending kit going to help us get to Carter's computer?"

"Observe O'Neill." Teal'c had managed to get the lid open and Daniel helped him fold it back. Teal'c quickly hoisted himself up and into the kit, where he picked up a sewing needle, briefly hoisting it in his hands experimentally, a satisfied look on his face. In his hands, the needle looked more like a small javelin. Teal'c quickly passed the needle down to Carter, who took it while looking curious.

Next, he picked up a card with green thread wrapped around it, passing it down to Jack, who was looking up at the man, wondering again if the device had had more than just an affect on their size. After passing down a second card, this one containing blue thread, Teal'c jumped down, and took one of the cards from O'Neill, hefting it to his broad shoulder, indicating they should follow him.

Leading the way around the side of the table, Teal'c stopped near where a few cables trailed down from the computer, connecting it to the network and power and such. He set the card of thread down, and started to unroll some of it. Still puzzled, Daniel helped him with the bulky card. Carter still carried the needle. Jack frowned as he watched the activity. He was starting to think that he wasn't going to like what Teal'c was planning. Carter was eyeing the tabletop speculatively; she seemed to be thinking along the same lines.

Teal'c had doubled up the thread, which at their present size appeared to be about the thickness of a small rope, and was creating a harness from it. Taking the needle from Carter, he quickly secured it with more thread so that it slung across his back like a large sword.

Still frowning, Jack shook his head, but he really couldn't think of another way to get to the computer, and he knew out of all of them, Teal'c would be the best suited to make the first climb. The thread trailing from Teal'c's harness would provide the best way for the rest of them to safely join him on top of the table.

"Good luck buddy. Be careful." Was all Jack would say, though he would have preferred to say don't do it, it wasn't safe, that they should find another way. He double checked the man's harness intstead, and gave his shoulder a squeeze when satisfied that the impromptu safety device would hold. Teal'c inclined his head to O'Neill, and turned to one of the cords, a thick round gray one, and used some of the thread to secure his harness to the cord. It might not prevent him from falling, but may perhaps slow his descent enough from him to be able to catch himself.

Without another word, Teal'c started his climb, Carter and Daniel making sure he had enough slack on the 'rope'. Jack watched, fervently hoping that the lonely climb Teal'c made would be uneventful.


	5. Computer Troubles

_Without another word, Teal'c started his climb, Carter and Daniel making sure he had enough slack on the 'rope'. Jack watched, fervently hoping that the lonely climb Teal'c made would be uneventful._

_Chapter 5: Computer Troubles_

Teal'c made slow but sure progress up the cable, and so far no mishaps, despite the thickness of the cable that made climbing awkward. He moved cautiously, being careful not to risk a fall. At this point in his climb, not even Junior, as O'Neill dubbed his symbiote, would be able to help him if he fell. Far below now, his teammates seemed even smaller. Teal'c looked back up at his goal. He thought he'd make it up to the top in the next several minutes. His new perspective on things was a bit disconcerting, and Teal'c had to force himself not to dwell on O'Neill's offhand comment about being squashed like a bug. After a brief rest, he resumed his climb with the end now near.

Far below from the floor, Jack kept busy by fashioning harnesses for the three of them, using Carter's small knife to cut the thread. After fashioning three harnesses, he started exploring the nearby area for anything else that might be useful, although at the time he really couldn't think of any alternative use for the scattered objects. His attention turned back to Teal'c just in time to watch the now tiny figure disappear over the edge of the table. Jack held his breath unconsciously, waiting for some sign from Teal'c that he was ready.

On the table, Teal'c quickly pulled the sewing needle out of the thread sling he's made for it. Using both hands, Teal'c raised the needle above his head and with a grunt, plunged it into the wooden surface of the desk. Teal'c next set his weight against the needle, trying to dislodge it. Making a satisfied noise, he set about removing his harness and threading the end their makeshift rope through the eye of the needle. Tying it securely, Teal'c now tested his weight against the line. Pleased with the results, Teal'c leaned over the edge of the table and waved to his companions. His sharp eyes picked out O'Neill waving back, and his ears picked up the faint sound of a shout.

After getting the ok from Teal'c, Jack ordered Carter to go first, deciding that of all of them, Daniel would have the most trouble and it might be best to have her topside helping Teal'c, while Jack steadied the rope from below. Accustomed to following orders Sam just nodded, allowing the Colonel to check out her harness and secure it to the line. Her blue eyes briefly studied the set up before grabbing hold and wordlessly making her way up to join Teal'c.

It seemed to take forever, but Jack was finally able to breathe easier when Carter made it to the top, Teal'c assisting her over the edge. A moment later and Jack could make her out, waving the all-clear signal from the top.

Daniel went next, and fortunately had no problems. Jack permitted himself to let out a sigh of relief, before securing his own harness and starting up. Not having anyone to steady the line made it a bit more awkward at first, but Jack managed. Nearly to the top of the long climb, when Jack was looking forward to being on solid ground again, or at least the flat horizontal surface of the table, his hand slipped.

In a brief moment of panic, Jack slid along the line before he managed to stop himself. Wincing over his stinging palms, he wished he'd been carrying his gloves when that alien thingy had zapped him.

"Sir!" came the shout from overhead, and Jack looked up into the concerned faces of his teammates. Not wanting to let go with even one hand, he swallowed, trying to moisten his suddenly dry throat.

"I'm okay!" he managed to call, before pulling his attention back to the rope, being doubly careful the rest of the way. Soon, strong hands gripped him and he found himself on the tabletop, Carter already disconnecting him from the line.

Jack took a moment to survey his surrounding. Carter's usually neat worktop was strewn with papers, pens and pencils, tools, and doohickeys. Up close, the computer was larger than life. Jack wondered how his two scientists, who were already heading towards the monstrosity with their necks craned at the machine in awe, intended to go about operating it given their present size.

Casting a sideways glance at Teal'c before starting after Daniel and Carter, Jack commented, "I've never really been comfortable with computers, but at least I was always bigger than they were." Teal'c merely raised an eyebrow wordlessly, before falling into step beside him.

By the time they reached their teammates, Carter had already climbed up onto the keyboard. Before Jack had a chance to ask what her plan was, she had leapt into the air, landing on one of the keys causing it tosink down. Her weight wasn't enough to hold the key down however, and it popped back up making her cast her arms out to her sides to steady herself. Instantly, the monitor came to life, and Sam shot a triumphant grin over her shoulder at the rest of the team.

Returning Sam's smile, Daniel moved over to the mouse, which fortunately was still on the table. His muscles straining, he tried to budge the thing. Despite his best efforts, it barely moved. Seeing his struggles, Teal'c went to Daniel's side, and added his own significant strength. With only the slightest effort showing, Teal'c moved the mouse. Watching the screen, Daniel called out directions. Once the cursor was in position, Teal'c was able to reach up and depress the mouse button.

"Ok, now we need to search for information on the ancient Greek language."

Carter nodded, and moved to type out a query, jumping on each key, but the keyboard was large and it was taking time for her to move back and forth to get the individual keys that were needed. Seeing something he could help with, the colonel joined her on the keyboard, taking over half the keys. Sam smiled briefly in gratitude, asking for this or that key to be pressed.

With the two of them working it only took a short time for them to find a page that looked promising. Moving the mouse again, Teal'c clicked the link. Daniel squinted up at the screen frowning in concentration. Half the screen was in foreign characters, and Jack frowned too.

"I think this is what we're looking for." Daniel announced, still peering at the screen.

"It's all Greek to me." Jack's comment earned him a glare from Daniel. "What?" Jack looked innocent.

Ignoring the colonel, Daniel frowned at the screen. "Sam, can we make the text smaller?" It was difficult to read the words when it was a lot like reading a billboard.

Sam thought for a moment, her brow creased. "Sir," she called, "Can you come over here please? I might need a hand with this."

Curious, Jack picked his way over the keys, careful not press any down. She was standing on the shift key and eyeing the ctrl key, a speculative look on her face. Jack glanced appraisingly at the key, which was only slightly larger than the letter keys, and back to Carter. He cleared his throat. "Carter?"

As if just noticing his presence, she looked up and met his eye, reading the question in them. "Sir, we need to be able to hold down the ctrl key to make the text smaller," she said by way of explanation.

Jack looked back at the key and back to his second. The key looked even smaller now.

"I think we can do it. Sir." Sam spoke hesitantly, interrupting his thoughts.

Making a decision he hoped he wouldn't regret, he agreed. "Let's do it."

Moving to join her on the shift key, Sam motioned for him to face her, and to step closer. Aware that he was suddenly in his Major's personal space, Jack shifted uncomfortably. "On my count," she said. At Jack's nod, she continued. "One… two… _three_!"

On three, they both jumped sideways onto the ctrl key. The key sank quickly under their combined weight, and stayed down. In front of him, Carter wobbled slightly, on the verge of losing her balance. Reflexively, Jack's hands shot out, gripping her upper arms and steadying her. Her head shot up and their eyes locked, causing Jack to take a deep breath. He could smell the light scent of the soap that she used.

Carter wet her lips, the tension of their close proximity nearly palpable. "Thank you sir."

"Uh, no problem. Just keeping it under control." Jack quipped, dropping his arms quickly and crossing them over his chest as if to make a barrier. He wondered why it always had to be so difficult. Sensing the mood change, Carter balanced on her tiptoes, and peered over Jack's shoulder.

"Teal'c," she called, "Scroll the mouse wheel."

Jack glanced over his shoulder to see the Jaffa already stretched up turning the wheel. On the screen, the text was now smaller, and Daniel called out to stop. Jack and Sam stepped off the ctrl key carefully, and moved apart, stepping off the keyboard to stand near Daniel. Both of them had their professional masks back in place, although Jack couldn't help a sideways peek at the major. If either of the others noticed, neither said anything. Teal'c remained by the mouse in case he needed to advance the page.

"Neat trick." Sam smiled at her CO's compliment, before turning away, taking in her surroundings.

Daniel continued to read the information on the screen, occasionally mumbling to himself, or comparing the notes he'd taken on the characters from the device to what he read on the screen. Sometimes he'd jot something down on the notepad. Finally, he sighed, and closed the notepad, rubbing his forehead.

"Daniel?" The man's sigh caught Jack's attention.

"You aren't going to like this," he replied.

Everyone moved in closer. "What is it? Just tell me." Jack crossed his arms again, waiting expectantly.

Daniel took a deep breath. "The way to reverse the machine is on the bottom of the device, the one side we can't get to."


	6. A Small Problem

A/N: I've been meaning for the last… oh five chapters lol to give you all a little update on things. My boys (Sam and Dragon) are not precisely boys anymore. Lol, yep, got them neutered the week before Christmas, poor babies. A friend at work recommended her best friend, a vet at another clinic, who quoted a figure at least $400 less than the $1000 figure I'd been originally quoted. And to boot, I rather liked her and I think I'll switch. So Sam had his hernia repaired, and Dragon got a chest x-ray and EKG, which came back normal. Their fur is growing back nicely. Aside from a rough first night, healing went smoothly (poor Sam bought himself an e-collar when he refused to leave his tummy alone, which caused him to freak, and he got into the litter box and got wet clumping litter caked all over his backside, and I had to wash him off. He was crying, I was crying, it was awful, but after that they both settled down and went to sleep. Thankfully, no more problems after that.)

My upstairs is starting to look like a room again, actually three rooms now! New sheet rocking is almost done, and the new bathroom upstairs is almost ready to be sanded and painted, then the fixtures installed. After that, its onto the new downstairs bathroom and kitchen. Should be done in a couple of months… (sigh)

Some of you may have also noticed the other story I'm working on, Moo X-treme. Don't let the crossover scare you off. Basically, an online friend of mine a few years ago (before I met him) created a drawing of a stick horse that says moo (it's a little confused). Surprisingly, the little drawing took on a life of its own, and now has a following of people that enjoy each other's company online and adding their own embellishments to StickHorsie and its story… There are stories, poems, games, and an entire wardrobe for Horsie. One story, by Horsie's creator, has Horsie stepping into some machine, and going off to somewhere unknown. Never finished, I couldn't resist the thought of "What if it was a wormhole? Could a drawing come to life?" So if you get bored one day, and want something a little bit different, and a lot of fun to read, take a peek at Moo X-treme.

Anyway, here's the latest chapter, and I'm already working on the next one, as well as actually having a plan for the next several chapters, so with any luck updates might come quicker, but no guarantees. Writers block and life have been striking me at the oddest moments… I hope you'll enjoy this chapter, for some reason there was a lot of opportunity for Jack's sarcastic wit in this one and the next, which I shamelessly took advantage of.

_Daniel took a deep breath. "The way to reverse the machine is on the bottom of the device, the one side we can't get to."_

_Chapter 6: A Small Problem_

"Well that's a problem." Jack O'Neill muttered, breaking the silence that had followed Daniel's announcement.

"Sir. We can just send an email to General Hammond, explain the situation." Carter was already heading to the keyboard.

Jack blinked. "I knew there was a reason we kept you around Carter. Good thinking." She flashed a smile over her shoulder as she climbed to the keyboard again, and Teal'c was already pushing the mouse over the correct program icon. Jack shook his head, and hid a grin, then looked to the keyboard with a sigh. "Here we go again," he muttered under his breath and went to join his second. Not needing to study the text on the screen, Daniel joined them, taking the middle section.

They got started "typing" out the email, briefly debating over the subject line. Jack unilaterally decided on "Honey, I shrunk SG-1" and refused to be argued with. The others gave in, knowing when best to let him have his way. They did however refuse to allow him to type the words "help me" repeatedly into the email. Or to include the words to "It's a Small World." Or allow him to request that Stuart Little be shown as the next base movie. They also wouldn't let him extend an invitation to come visit them in "munchkin land." His request that they ask to have the theme song to Smurfs played over the base's loudspeakers was blatantly ignored, although they did glare when he started to sing it under his breath.

With Carter and Daniel offering most of the real suggestions, the email was quickly ready. "I think that should do it sir," announced Carter. Jack waved a hand over to Teal'c, who moved the mouse pointer over the send button. The others watched his progress. Teal'c reached up and pressed the mouse button with a click. Immediately, the computer shut down and all the lights in the roomflicked off with a pop, plunging the room into darkness.

In the sudden silence that followed, Jack could be heard to remark, "Wow. Never had that happen before, and I thought I'd experienced every computer problem known to man." Within seconds of the lights going out, the green emergency lighting flickered on, casting an odd glow in the room. Jack squinted into the gloom, trying to make out the rest of his team.

"Sir, that wasn't anything we did." Sam started picking her way across the keyboard in the dim lighting, looking around and up at the ceiling as if the darkened lights would provide some clue. "They must have cut power to my lab."

"Behind on the payments again, are we Major?" Jack didn't need the light to feel the heat of her glare.

Responding before Sam could say something she might regret, Daniel added his own observations. "Jack, they must be taking precautions, the device likely let off a surge of energy, and when we disappeared…" he trailed off. They all knew the drill. An unknown power surge, four people missing. Procedure was to cut power and do damage control until the problem could be sorted. Jack sighed.

"Perhaps our email was delivered, O'Neill." Teal'c had abandoned the now useless mouse, and come to where his companions could see him better. Fortunately, the emergency lighting provided enough light for them to see their immediate surroundings reasonably well.

"Well kids, looks like we wait here. Why don't we grab a bite?" The colonel sat down on a nearby pen and rummaged in his pocket, pulling out a slightly squished candy bar. "Let's see. You can have a power bar… or a power bar. What'll it be?"

Sam unsuccessfully hid her smile as she joined O'Neill on the impromptu seat. "I don't know, sir. I think the power bar sounds good, what about you Daniel?"

Daniel grinned, joining in. "I would actually rather have the power bar myself."

"Indeed. The power bar would be most satisfying." They grinned at the man's rare display of humor, and Teal'c neatly caught the power bar that Jack tossed his way. Quickly, they shared out the few bars they had been carrying, eating in companionable silence.

After their small meal, they spread out to explore the tabletop, with a quick admonishment from the Colonel to stay nearby. Unfortunately, there wasn't much left on the table of any interest, most everything having been blown to the floor due to the energy wave. Carter shook her head in dismay, there had been a stack of files on her desk she had spent the morning organizing. Without much to distract them, the four members of SG-1 eventually drifted back to where they'd eaten their meal.

Soon bored, Jack started up a game of I Spy, and the others joined in, not having much to do without the lights on, or anything to look at. The game was simple enough that Teal'c grasped it right away, but they were limited to objects in the nearby vicinity due to the dim lighting, which left a rather small number of potential objects to spy. The restriction had little effect on O'Neill enthusiasm for the game however. On the other hand, it made the objects in question rather easy to guess.

After guessing for what seemed like the thousandth time, that the Colonel had spied the computer, Carter sighed in frustration, glancing at her watch. Over an hour had passed since their aborted attempt to email the General. He should have seen the message by now, as she had marked it priority. "Sir, I don't think anyone is going to come check up on us."

Daniel nodded in agreement. "Jack, I think we're going to have to try and get someone's attention."

"And just how do you propose we do that? In case you haven't noticed, we seem to be having a bit of a small problem here." Jack's voice was sarcastic as he motioned to their bodies.

Teal'c cocked his head to the side. "I concur with Daniel Jackson and Major Carter. We must leave this room and find another way to alert the base to our current predicament."

Jack sighed again. "Yeah, ok. Plan B. Any suggestions on how we get out of here? I don't think even any of us could fit around the door."

"Sir." Carter caught his attention. She was looking up, towards the corner of the room. About a foot, maybe less, from the table stood a shelf. But she wasn't looking at the shelf, rather above it. Jack followed her gaze and frowned. Sensing his hesitation, Carter quickly spoke again. "It's the only other way out of here sir."

Jack kept frowning, but unfortunately had to agree that the Major was right. It looked like they would be going for a little stroll in the air vents, whether they liked it or not.


	7. Building Bridges

_Jack kept frowning, but unfortunately had to agree that the Major was right. It looked like they would be going for a little stroll in the air vents, whether they liked it or not._

_Chapter 7: Building Bridges_

Daniel caught on quickly to what they had in mind. "Uh, slight problem. Just how are we going to get up there?" Jack frowned. He hadn't thought about that one yet. A glance at Teal'c was rewarded with an upraised eyebrow. This time, the Jaffa didn't have any ideas to pull out from his sleeve.

"I have an idea, sir. We might need the rope, I mean the thread, from before." Carter headed over to the keyboard, and disappeared behind it. After a moment, she reappeared, and seemed to be struggling with something she was dragging across the table. Teal'c moved to assist her without hesitation, and within moments the two had pulled a long flat object into view. Even from this distance, Jack could see the numbers and increments on the 12-inch wooden ruler.

"Great," he said sarcastically, "Now we can all see how much we've grown."

Sam just rolled her eyes, Daniel coming beside her to look at the ruler curiously, the coil of thread he had just gathered from their climb neatly looped over his shoulder, the harnesses they'd made gathered in one hand. He also carried the sewing needle, which he passed to Teal'c. "Jack, I think it just might work."

The Colonel stared back blankly.

"O'Neill, I believe that Major Carter intends to use her measuring stick to create a bridge for us to cross to the storage tower. Once across, we can climb to the ventilation access panel," Teal'c explained as if it were all readily apparent, and from the quick grin Carter shot him, he was right.

Realization dawned on the Colonel's face. "Well what are we waiting for, lets get this show on the road. Lead the way Dorothy."

Each of them grabbed an edge of the ruler, and with the four of them carrying it; they had no trouble bringing it to the edge of the table closest to the shelf.

Jack was eyeing the gap. "You sure this will work Carter?" he asked dubiously.

"I think so sir," she replied distractedly, studying the space they had to cross and the ruler.

"You _think_ so?"

She blinked, and turned to face him. "We have to try sir."

Jack studied her a moment, then nodded. It would have to work; otherwise, they'd have to climb all the way back down to the floor, then back up the shelf. All in all, it would take them several hours at least. "Ok. Lets do it."

It took a bit of careful maneuvering, but fortunately the shelf was just a bit lower than the tabletop, so they were able to slide the ruler out and let it drop onto the shelf. They all breathed a sigh of relief when the ruler came to rest against a box on the shelf, a little less than an inch of it overhanging each surface.

Surveying their handiwork with his arms crossed over his chest, Jack grunted. "Ok, one at a time kids. I'll go first." If the makeshift bridge were to give out, he wanted to be the one to test it out. No one could offer any argument, as the team leader, it was his prerogative to take point should he desire it. Without any disagreements, Jack started across, the width of the ruler actually comfortable to walk on, and the slant wasn't too bad. Making it across easily, he waved to the others. A few minutes later they were all across and standing on the shelf.

Teal'c was already surveying the shelf supports and Jack went to join him, Carter and Daniel following. The shelves were metal, held up by four metal supports. Each support bore a series of holes about an inch apart, so that shelves could be raised or lowered. He knew that the shelves were a little over a foot or so apart. Cluttered with Carter's doohickeys and tools, there were four shelves to reach the airshaft. The shelves would make nice places to stop and rest, but Jack was unsure how to get to the next shelf since the holes were just a little bit too far apart to use for climbing comfortably. It seemed Teal'c had an idea though.

"Whatcha doin' buddy?" Jack asked, curiously watching the man tie the thread around the center of the needle, dropping the coil of thread on the shelf and hoisting the needle experimentally, a bit like a javelin. Something clicked in Jack's mind and he quickly grabbed Carter and Daniel by the arm, pulling them back to give Teal'c a bit of space.

With a nod to O'Neill, Teal'c took a step back, planting his body in a throwing position, hefting the needle back. Fluidly, he launched the needle up, and it flew, the thread trailing behind it. _Plink_. The needle just barely missed the hole under the next shelf up and dropped, Teal'c grabbing hold of the thread before it could fall very far, quickly coiling the line up and preparing for a second throw. They held their breaths collectively, as the needle sailed through the air before going cleanly through the hole. Teal'c pulled back on the line and the needle clinked against the hole lengthwise, holding the line up.

"He shoots, he scores!" Jack crowed, slapping Teal'c on the back. Daniel whooped, punching a fist into the air and Carter grinned. Teal'c bowed, a slight smile on his face.

"Harnesses folks." Ordered Jack, already untangling his. It didn't take long to sort them out, and Jack had them take the same order they'd used climbing the table. With the holes along the way, the climb was actually easier since they had places to rest a foot or sometimes hold onto. This time, there were no problems, and after Jack joined them on the first shelf, Teal'c reached down, unhooking the needle and coiling the rope up again for the next throw. Carter and Daniel poked through the shelf a bit, but found nothing of any use, all of the objects were too heavy for any of them, even Teal'c, to lift.

They repeated the throw, climb, and throw process for the next three shelves, until nearly an hour later they were at the top. The air vent was only about two feet above the top shelf, and Teal'c easily made the throw with his needle, wedging it between the grates of the vent cover, which looked big enough for them to fit through. Before they started the last leg of the journey, Jack ordered them all to take five.

"We'll need to make finding water and more food our priority when we get out of here." Carter nodded at the Colonel's words, familiar with the rules of survival. Teal'c was also nodding but Daniel looked slightly confused.

"Shouldn't we let someone know what happened first?" he asked. Jack decided to let Carter field this one, exchanging a quick look.

"Daniel, we'll have no idea what sort of conditions we'll be facing out there. I was assuming that the power being off in my lab was just standard procedure due to the energy emission, but it's possible that there could be something affecting the entire base. Also, it will be hard for us to attract attention, and might even be dangerous since people may not notice us. It may take some time to find a way to let someone know where we are and what happened." Daniel nodded at Sam's explanation in understanding.

"So until then, we have to be careful, stay low and off the main ways." Jack gazed at each of them in turn; satisfied with the looks of understanding they gave back. He stood, dusting his palms unnecessarily on his pants, and then clapped his hands together. "Ok campers, lets move out."

One by one, they climbed the rest of the way and slipped through the grate covering the air vent. Standing together, they looked down the seemingly immense cavern like space of the ventilation system. It was darker inside the duct, even with the glow of Carter's tiny flashlight. In the distance, a rectangular patch of light could be seen in the floor of the shaft, likely the opening into the corridor. Jack ordered Carter to cut the light off and save the batteries since it wasn't giving them much light and the duct was empty. She nodded, and put the light away.

"Well, we're off to see the wizard," said Jack cheerfully, starting off down the shaft towards the patch of light, the others falling into step behind him.


	8. Nothing Here But Air

A/N: Thanks for all the great reviews! Tirtreaton, I hope I've answered your question; I have a few revisions planned for earlier chapters to clear up confusion in future releases… Oh, by the way, does anyone have any ideas how to keep a seven-month overgrown kitten off the stove? I've tried shouting at him and spraying him with water, but all that's taught him is to not get caught because he runs away when he hears you coming!

_"Well, we're off to see the wizard," said Jack cheerfully, starting off down the shaft towards the patch of light, the others falling into step behind him._

_Chapter 8: Nothing Here But Air_

Their footsteps echoed eerily in the vast space of the ventilation ducts. At least it seemed vast at their present height. But then again, reflected Jack privately, everything seemed enormous when you were only about an inch tall. Although their steps sounded loud in their ears they were probably at least as quiet as a mouse, and Jack seriously doubted that anyone outside the air vent would hear them. They headed towards the patch of light in the distance, and a faint breeze ruffled their hair and clothing. Something niggled at the back of Jack's mind, the slightest stirring of unease. Behind him, Carter and Daniel were talking, causing Jack to lose the thought when he focused on their words.

"It makes me wonder what purpose the artifact had, I mean why would anyone want to be shrunk down so small?" Jack couldn't see Carter's face in the dim light, but her question spiked his curiosity, and he couldn't help but voice his own thoughts. "Yeah, why would anyone want to do that?" As soon as he spoke, he could practically hear the wheels turning in Daniel's head and inwardly cringed, hoping he hadn't unwittingly sparked lecture mode.

Daniel however, seemed to be just as curious. "I don't know, maybe they just wanted a new perspective on their world."

"Or maybe," Sam answered, warming to the subject, "It was, I don't know, so they could get into tight spaces, so they could repair things." She could think of several things she wouldn't mind being able to fit inside of, to get a look at the inner workings.

"Perhaps it was intended for use in war." Teal'c surprised them by joining in the debate; usually he remained silent when the two scientists started a debate, unless he had something to contribute from his own personal knowledge. Jack was curious about the logic Teal'c used to come to his conclusion, and raised an eyebrow. "Oh?" he asked. "How so?"

Carter was curious too. "You mean like spies maybe? Talk about the proverbial fly on the wall!"

Teal'c paused a moment before replying, inclining his head slightly at the comment. "Perhaps. Or the device might have been used on a larger scale. It might be possible for a single individual to transport a number of persons covertly across enemy lines using this device."

Daniel remained silent, mulling over the suggestion, but Jack latched on right away. "You mean they could shrink an army and one guy could sneak them in and once in position, _whammo_!"

"Like a Trojan horse!" Daniel finally caught onto the idea, and was fascinated by the possibility.

"I am unfamiliar with your reference Daniel Jackson," replied Teal'c, frowning. Despite the many years with the Tauri, he was still confused by the plethora of slang and literary references.

Daniel grinned, quickly warming to the subject. He loved explaining history. "The story of the end of the Trojan war is told in Homer's Iliad. More than three thousand years ago, the goddess Aphrodite promised the most beautiful woman in the world to Paris, the Prince of Troy, after he chose her as the most beautiful of three goddesses. Unfortunately, that woman was Helen of Sparta, who was married to Menelaus the king. Paris stole Helen, taking her back with him to Troy. It is said that Helen is the face that launched a thousand ships, as the Spartans set sail with a thousand ships to avenge the king. The Greeks laid siege to Troy for ten years, finally resorting to treachery to capture the city. They built an enormous wooden horse, and hid soldiers inside of it, while the rest of the army sailed away, making the Trojans think the Greeks had finally given up. Along with the horse, the Greeks had left behind a spy who persuaded the people of Troy that the horse was a tribute to Athena, the goddess of war. He convinced the Trojans that he was a deserter and to take the horse inside the city. That night, the soldiers inside the horse were able to sneak out while the Trojans celebrated, and open the gates for the Greeks."

"Then you are indeed correct Daniel Jackson, the device may have been used as a 'Trojan Horse.' I shall have to read this Iliad you speak of, it sounds most intriguing." Daniel opened his mouth to reply, when Jack interrupted.

"As much as I hate to interrupt this _fascinating_ lesson in what really sounds like a bunch of Goa'uld plots, I really need to know if it's just me, or if the breeze in here getting stronger?" The almost pleasant flow of air from earlier was steadily becoming a stiff wind.

"Sir!" Carter cried in growing alarm, immediately recognizing the problem, "The air handlers must be kicking up to the high speed!"

The nagging sense of worry that nearly forgotten suddenly started screaming for attention. He was already thinking the action that Teal'c vocalized before he could summon the words. "I believe we should attempt to secure our current position O'Neill." The Jaffa had to nearly shout his words to be heard over the growing roar.

Wasting no time, they located handholds, Carter and Daniel grabbing onto a protruding screw used to fasten the duct, while Teal'c and O'Neill managed to hold onto a ridge made by the joining of two sections of the shaft not far ahead of them. They had all turned to face they way they had come, to face the direction the air was traveling. It felt like they were inside of a monstrous vacuum. The airflow continued to increase, the rush of air soon drowning out every other sound. Desperately, they clung to their precarious handholds, flattening their bodies against the smooth metal of the duct.

Squinting against the force that threatened to rip him away, O'Neill tried to make out his team in the dim light. He was relieved to see them all still clinging on. His relief was short lived however, when in front of him, Carter was suddenly torn free from her hold. Despite Daniel's valiant attempt to grab her, nearly losing his own grip, she slipped free, tumbling head over heels with no way to stop herself. Jack watched in horror as Carter was tossed about like a rag doll, at the not so tender mercy of the wind.


	9. Blowing in the Wind

A/N: Ok… I couldn't leave you hanging too long… though you may not thank me when you get to the end of this chapter! Oh, and I loved floopygirl's comment about using the machine for packing, especially since I'll have to be doing that in another few months if my remodeling ever gets done... Watch out, you might see that one again in later chapters! Lol.

_His relief was short lived however, when ahead of him, Carter was suddenly torn free from her hold. Despite Daniel's valiant attempt to grab her, nearly losing his own grip, she slipped free, tumbling head over heels with no way to stop herself. Jack watched in shock as Carter was tossed about like a rag doll, at the not so tender mercy of the wind._

_Chapter 9: Blowing in the Wind_

"Carter!" Jack yelled, the sound being ripped away from his mouth before it could emerge. Helpless, Jack could only watch while Carter scrabbled in front of him for anything to grab onto, only to be jerked into the air and slammed back down onto the hard surface of the shaft. Her fingers slid uselessly along the smooth metal, the force of the air pushing her backwards and towards them, far to their right.

Desperately, Jack started to try to move towards her, knowing he'd not be able to get close enough in time, when Teal'c sprang into action. With inhuman strength and lightning fast reflexes, Teal'c reached out a muscled arm and grabbed a handful of the Major's over shirt as she tumbled by. Her momentum threatened to yank them both away, but somehow Teal'c held on with one hand, slowly pulling the smaller woman close to him, guiding her to the ridge he clung to and going as far as to flatten his body over top of her. An arm now on either side of her with his body shielding her, Teal'c had Carter firmly anchored, and Jack permitted himself to release the breath he had been holding, never loosening his own grip on the metal ridge.

Mere minutes felt like hours to the struggling team, the fury of the artificial wind threatening to snatch them away at any moment. Finally, as suddenly as the air had picked up, it diminished; fading away to the gentle whisper it had been before.

The silence seemed deafening after the intense noise from moments before. A cough and a soft groan broke the quiet, as the teammates released their death grips on their various holds and gratefully went limp. Jack forced weak limbs into action, determined to check on his team. Nearby, Teal'c had already rolled off Carter and was helping the slightly dazed woman to sit up. Daniel had the same idea and was making his way towards them as well. Teal'c had fished Carter's small light out of her pocket and was making good use of it.

She blinked a bit in confusion, looking up at the Colonel when he knelt in front of her. "It's really not a good idea to try flying without a plane yanno. You okay Carter?" He noted a small trickle of blood from her nose, and the way she was holding her left arm across her abdomen.

"S-Sorry sir." She was trembling just slightly, likely the effects of adrenaline. Jack was experiencing the same thing, and he could tell by Daniel's nervous shifting that they were all likely feeling the after shocks of the energy rush. Well, three of them at least. Teal'c seemed as calm and unruffled as usual and reached out a hand to Carter to help steady her, receiving a look of gratitude from the somewhat shaken Major.

"You gonna be alright?" Jack caught her eyes again, studying her face. In addition to the nose bleed there was a small bruise forming on one cheek, and she was still cradling her left arm in her lap while distractedly wiping the blood away with the back of her right hand.

She blinked owlishly at him, and was slightly slower than usual to respond. "Y-yes sir. I'm fine sir."

Jack frowned. "Here, give me that light." Teal'c passed over the flashlight, and Carter flinched as he caught her chin, tipping her face up and shining the light into her eyes. "You know the drill Carter, how many?" He held up several fingers in front of her. She squinted a little, and replied. "Three." He nodded, and grabbed her left arm unexpectedly, making her yelp.

"Fine you said?" he grumbled as he deftly prodded the bones in her arm and wrist joint and instructed her to wiggle her fingers, finally studying her face while he gently flexed her wrist. "It doesn't seem like anything is broken Carter."

"I think it's just a sprain, sir." She winced as his fingers found a particularly sore spot, but otherwise didn't complain.

Finally satisfied that she was likely right, he let go and stood up, watching as she rubbed her injured wrist with her good one. He permitted himself a moment of relief that she hadn't been more seriously injured, treating her in their present state with their current lack of supplies would have been like trying to plug a leaking dike with a finger. Looking down at her, his thoughts turned to their upcoming exit from the ventilation system. "Think you'll be up to the climb down Carter?"

She flexed her fingers experimentally, and finally nodded. "I think so sir, its not bad, and feeling better already. Guess I got lucky. If Teal'c hadn't been there…" She trailed off, not wanting to think about what might have happened if Teal'c hadn't been there. Jack didn't blame her; he didn't much want to think about what might have happened either.

Daniel cleared his throat. "Uh, guys, I'm wondering how long before the air handlers pick up again?"

Jack frowned. "I don't know, but I'd rather not stick around to find out. Everyone else ok? Carter, you good to move out?" She nodded and everyone answered in the affirmative, Teal'c offering Carter a hand up. Without any more discussion they set off towards their goal again, Jack ordering them to move at double time.

About ten minutes later they were at the vent opening, and Teal'c quickly confirmed they were over a corridor. Snatching a quick look for himself, Jack thought the floor looked rather far away. Teal was already securing their makeshift rope to the grate, and lowering it through the hole. There had been more than enough rope to scale the table and shelves, but Jack wondered if there would be enough to reach to the floor. Moments later, he breathed a small sigh of relief when the thread managed to make the distance to the floor. Just barely, but it made it. They might have to jump the last inch or so, but it was close enough.

"Ok kids, the sooner we are out of here and on solid ground the better. I want to be out of here before the air comes on again." Jack wanted to be out of the vent before they turned into miniature kites. "Teal'c, you go first. Carter, I want you going next." He knew that if Carter ran into trouble, Teal'c was likely the only one that would be able to help her and not fall off the rope himself if she fell. "Daniel, once they are nearly down, you start climbing. I'll do the same when you are halfway. A shame we don't have any real climbing gear." Nods and Carter's "Yes sir" followed his orders, and Jack double-checked everyone's harness. Teal'c started to descend, tirelessly climbing down the rope. Jack winced, thinking of all the climbing they'd done already. His arms would be sore for sure. It was too bad none of them had been carrying any ibuprofen.

As soon as Teal'c had a good lead, the Colonel helped Carter get started. She winced a little as she grabbed onto the rope with her injured wrist, but stayed silent. Jack watched her progress worriedly, hoping her wrist would hold up. Teal'c remained close by, but other than being a bit slow, she didn't have any trouble. He waited until they had nearly reached the bottom before getting Daniel going.

Soon, Carter and Teal'c had reached the floor and Daniel was making steady downward progress. Jack shifted from foot to foot, watching, not wanting to start on the rope too close to Daniel. Jack knew if he fell, he could end up taking the archeologist with him if he was too close. Trying to let the other man get as much of a head start as possible, the luxury was abruptly taken from his hands when the air started to grow in force again. Wasting no time, Jack grabbed the rope and started down. Hand over hand; he concentrated only on putting as much distance between him and the vent as possible. He felt the current of air pulling at him even from his place on the rope, trying to pull him upwards towards the intake vent. The rope swayed and Jack prayed that Daniel had made it to safety. He didn't look down, afraid he would lose his grip if he did. His world narrowed to the rope in front of him, so much so that when hands gripped his legs and he ran out of rope he was momentarily startled.

On solid ground, Jack turned a critical eye over his team. Daniel was stretching, trying to shake the kinks out of his shoulders and arms. Jack flexed his own muscles in sympathy. Carter was seated on the floor not very far away, obviously taking a moment to rest. While slightly pale, she seemed ok, just tired. They all were. Well, except for Teal'c. He looked like he was ready to take on a battalion of enemy Jaffa. Single handedly. With no weapons. Did he mention blindfolded?

Burying a bit of envy for his seemingly tireless companion, Jack was sorely tempted to pull up a patch of ground near Carter and take ten, but taking in his surroundings, he knew they needed to get somewhere more protected. "Ok campers, we need to get out of the middle of the hallway, before someone steps on us."

Fortunately, it was late in the evening, and there seemed to be little traffic on this level. Carter levered herself to her own feet, taking several fairly steady steps to Jack's critical eye. She didn't voice a complaint; she was too much of a soldier and would never complain, until she bowled over from sheer exhaustion. At which point she wouldn't be able to complain because she was unconscious, but that was Carter. He wished they had the luxury of stopping, but they couldn't until they found someplace safe.

The Colonel looked around the hallway, trying to get his bearings and decide which direction to take. He had meant what he'd earlier said about finding food and water. The power bars felt like they'd been eaten hours ago, and none of them had had any water recently. An odd deep hum sound was slowly penetrating his thoughts though, making it hard to think. Daniel abruptly tugged on his sleeve. "Uh, Jack," he said, "What's that noise?"

"O'Neill." Teal'c pointed down the hall, where something large and ominous looking was heading their way at a rather fast clip.

"Oh my God." If it was possible, Carter had just gone a shade paler.

"Run!" Jack shouted, grabbing Daniel's arm with one hand and Carter's with the other, feeling Teal'c fall in behind them all. Desperately, the team tried to get out of the way of the rapidly approaching floor buffer.


	10. Hotwired: A Clean Escape

A/N: I enjoyed writing this one, and hope you enjoy it too! Keep those reviews coming, I enjoy reading what you think!

"_Run!" Jack shouted, grabbing Daniel's arm with one hand and Carter's with the other, feeling Teal'c fall in behind them all. Desperately, the team tried to get out of the way of the rapidly approaching floor buffer._

_Chapter 10: Hotwired (A Clean Escape)_

Frantically, Jack O'Neill searched for an opening, something, anywhere they could find protection from the high-powered machine that was quickly gaining on them. Teal'c suddenly overtook them, veering off to the side right across the path of the oncoming cleaner.

"This way!" he shouted over the growing noise of the buffer, and years of trust made Jack follow without a moment's hesitation. He'd never let go of Carter or Daniel, and now used his grip to propel the three of them after the running Jaffa. It took him longer to spot what Teal'c had seen that his own eyes had not, an open doorway. Their goal now clear, Jack put on a burst of speed, pulling the other two along with him. The buffer was so close now he could feel the breeze that the large spinning disc on the machine created as it polished the floor. Ahead, Teal'c had taken Carter's other arm as if he could pull the three of them along that much faster.

The next thing he knew, they were all on the other side of the doorway, collapsing on the floor, panting. Well, except for Teal'c, who looked like he'd only gone on a brisk walk and wasn't the slightest bit winded. Damn Junior. Stupid larval Goa'uld parasites.

"Oh God, I didn't think we'd make it," gasped Daniel, doubled over with his elbows on his thighs, his chest heaving.

"Oh, ye of little faith" groused Jack, ducking his head as he brought both hands up and dragged his fingers through his hair, dropping down on his good knee while he caught his breath.

Carter just lifted her head up from her prone position on the floor and looked at them in disbelief before letting her head drop back down on the concrete.

Teal'c walked slowly around his three teammates, examining the room they were in. Curious as to where they were, the Colonel gained his feet and joined the other man. "So, Teal'c, any idea where we are?"

"We are in your office O'Neill." Replied Teal'c solemnly. Daniel straightened at their conversation and Carter sat up, looking at them with interest.

Jack blinked. "We are?" Even as he spoke, he started to pick out familiar sights. There was his jacket behind the door, and his trashcan, which was surrounded by balled up memos that now seemed to be the size of boulders. He spotted his other yo-yo where he'd dropped it earlier, not realizing it had rolled under the desk. And over there, in the corner, was his radio controlled, authentic scale replica of a military style Hummer. He'd been last minute Christmas shopping and had spotted the model (he refused to call it a toy) in the window of the high-end electronics shop and had been unable to resist despite the hefty price tag. Looking at the Hummer, a sudden idea came to him.

"Hey, Carter," he called, "Come over here and look at this."

She rose to her feet, and came to stand beside him. "Sir?" she asked quizzically.

"Carter, I'm thinking we could use some better transportation. Something, oh, a little more noticeable, faster, safer… Don't you agree?"

At first she looked at him like he'd gone nuts, and maybe he had. And then her brow furrowed as the wheels snicked into place. When a smile started to tug at the corners of her mouth, he knew she was thinking along the same lines he had been. She was now looking at the remote control vehicle with a critical eye, assessing.

"Uh, you two aren't thinking of actually driving that thing are you?" Daniel had approached them and had heard enough of their conversation and seen what they were looking at to be able to put two and two together.

"And why not?" Jack crossed his arms over his chest, glaring at Daniel in challenge.

Unperturbed, Daniel pushed his glasses up and pointedly crossed his arms as well, returning Jack's glare with a look of long suffering patience. "Because, Jack," he explained as if to a child, "There's no way we could lift the remote."

Jack frowned, his plan suddenly about as useful as a fart in a whirlwind. "Well damn," he muttered.

"Sir," spoke up Carter, who'd only been half listening to the conversation while she mulled over the new challenge. "I don't think we'll need the remote."

"There! You see? We don't need the remote!" Jack gleefully gloated to Daniel, and then his face crumpled, becoming a bit worried looking. "We don't?" He directed his last comment at Carter, who was walking towards the motorized Hummer.

"Sir, I think I might be able to make some modifications…"

"Ah ah Carter," interrupted the Colonel hastily. "Nothing permanent. Unless they're like those other, uh, modifications you made."

"Yes Sir, nothing permanent," she answered distractedly, already climbing up the oversized tire and crawling in the open door. Jack frowned, suddenly wondering if his plan was such a good idea after all.

"Modifications?" Daniel asked, blinking curiously at the Colonel.

Jack shrugged. "It broke. Carter fixed it for me," he replied unhelpfully, knowing what Daniel wanted to know.

Changing tracks, Daniel tried another source, unable to help his curiosity. "Sam?" Somehow he couldn't picture the normally serious Major bent over a toy, even if it was Jack's. Maybe especially if it was Jack's, he thought, remembering the number of times he'd been working or walking down the hall when the little truck had bumped into his legs, trying to trip him or otherwise distract him.

"He tried to use my tools," was all she would say, her head inside and under the very detailed looking dashboard. Sam narrowed her eyes, remembering how the Colonel had shown up at her lab, begging for help to fix his new toy that he'd barely had for three days before it had suddenly refused to run. She'd tried to decline on the excuse that she was busy, turning back to her project, but he hadn't left. Instead, he'd started picking up various tools, and tried to repair the problem himself. The last straw had come when he'd picked up a rather expensive tool she used to measure power readings, and tried to use it as a pry bar on something. At that point, she'd gently but firmly removed the very sensitive and delicate tool from his hand, and promised to look at his toy, but only if he left. Right then.

She'd never admit it, but she had been rather intrigued by the inner workings of the incredibly realistic and detailed toy as she dismantled it; quickly discovering the problem was a simple jamming of the delicate gears due to a tiny loosened screw. It had taken her very little time to fix it, and as she was putting the whole thing back together, she'd seen several rather simple modifications that she could do to make it run better. The Colonel had been a bit surprised when he returned later to pick up his toy. His eyes had widened as she offhandedly told him that she'd enhanced the battery, and modified some of the parts slightly for better speed and faster response time. He'd shifted a bit from foot to foot, blinking a few times, before managing to offer a gruff but wary "Thanks," taking his toy away before she could think of anymore 'modifications' to make.

Later, as Sam realized she'd worked straight through lunch, again, she was only moderately surprised when the little Hummer had zipped into her lab, stopping just in front of her and sounding its horn to catch her attention. She'd looked down to find a wrapped sandwich, small bag of chips and a can of soda resting on top of the car. Apparently, despite his earlier misgivings, the Colonel had been pleased with her enhancements. The man in question was no where to be seen, but she'd known he was nearby when the car had honked in reply to her call of thanks, before zipping back out into the hallway. Sam smiled to herself as she turned back to the matter at hand. If she remembered correctly, the wires that controlled the front wheels were just under the floor panel on the driver side…

Daniel sighed, and shook his head. Obviously he'd get no further information out of the distracted Major, who was in mechanical heaven. Jack just smirked. Resigned, Daniel went to see what Teal'c was up to.

Daniel found the man standing and looking up at Jack's desk. "Seen anything interesting?" he asked conversationally.

"I have Daniel Jackson. Observe." Teal'c pointed to where Daniel should look, and obediently the archeologist screwed up his eyes, squinting to make out the objects on top of the desk.

"Is that…" he started hesitantly, "If you are referring to the water bottle and slice of cake, than you would be correct Daniel Jackson." Teal'c watched as realization dawned with a smile on the other man's face. He was still startled however, when Daniel laughed out loud and slapped him on the shoulder, making him raise an eyebrow over the younger man's exuberance.

Daniel however, remained oblivious. "We should tell Jack!" Without waiting for a reply, Daniel trotted off to where the Colonel stood watching Carter tinker with his precious toy, a growing scowl on his face. "Jack! You'll never believe what Teal'c just found! You didn't finish your cake this morning, and there's a water bottle too!"

Grateful for something to distract him from whatever it was Carter was doing inside his Hummer, Jack followed Daniel back to Teal'c. He remembered that cake, it had been rather good, but he'd had to leave it behind when he'd been called to meet with General Hammond, and had never gotten a chance to make it back to his office.

"We shall need another rope O'Neill." Teal'c was eyeing something under his desk, and Jack followed his gaze.

"Oh no no no no _no_. No you _don't_." Jack had to put his foot down. It was one thing to let Carter at the insides of his treasured Hummer model, but this was quite another matter entirely. "Find something else."

"Jack," said Daniel placatingly, "There is nothing else."

"No." He remained adamant.

Daniel heaved a sigh. "Look, I'll buy you a new one. We need food and water, you said it yourself that it was our first priority." Daniel had no shame in tossing the Colonel's arguments back at him, especially when it had the desired effect.

His resolve crumbling, Jack ground his teeth. Why did it have to always be his stuff anyway? With a mighty sigh, Jack gave in. "Fine, use the yo-yo to make your rope."

Grinning, Daniel bounced up on his toes in triumph. "Thanks Jack." He bounded off to help Teal'c get things ready.

"I'll be holding you up to your promise of buying me a new one!" Jack shouted after the retreating figure, receiving a distracted wave in reply. Grumbling to himself, Jack headed back to his prized model to see what Carter was doing to it.


	11. Need for Speed

"I'll be holding you up to your promise of buying me a new one!" Jack shouted after the retreating figure, receiving a distracted wave in reply. Grumbling to himself, Jack headed back to his prized model to see what Carter was doing to it.

_Chapter 11: Need for Speed_

An hour later, and Carter had successfully managed to activate the power on the Hummer, but was still rigging the steering and braking systems. Meanwhile, Teal'c had climbed to the top of the desk with the string from Jack's misbegotten yo-yo and returned with a piece of napkin filled with small chunks of chocolate cake. Unfortunately, he'd had nothing to carry water in, and even with his formidable strength he'd been unable to knock the mostly full bottle over off the desk. Upon returning to his comrades, Jack had decided they could use the Hummer when Carter finished with it, to rig a pulley and bring the bottle to them that way.

When Teal'c had come back with the food, the Colonel made Carter stop for a break. She'd gratefully eaten her share of the cake before returning to her tinkering, Daniel wandering over to watch and help when needed.

Another hour passed before Carter finally announced she was done, demonstrating by turning it on, backing up, and driving over near the desk. Daniel had brought her up to speed on the plan while he'd been helping her. Teal'c had already climbed back to the desk and tied one end of the string around the bottle's neck. Directing Carter to move the Hummer a bit closer, Jack tied the other end of the string around the bumper, and then motioned for Daniel to move back before signaling Carter to hit it in reverse. The tires spun for a moment, than grabbed as they found traction on the smooth concrete floor. The string quickly went taut, and the bottle came flying off the desk, hitting the floor and bouncing. Only Carter's lightning fast reflexes saved the Hummer from getting hit, and Jack breathed a quick prayer of thanks, although whether it was over the fact that Carter was unharmed, or the Hummer, was between him and whatever Gods were listening.

Now that the bottle was in reach, they were presented with the problem of how to get at the water. Teal'c solved the problem by reaching up and twisting the cap. With Daniel steadying the bottle on one side, and Jack on the other, he was able to twist the cap off, he and O'Neill deftly avoiding the rush of water from the three quarters full bottle. Daniel however, was not so lucky.

Looking in consternation at his soaking uniform front, Daniel unsuccessfully tried to wring what water he could out of his shirt. Sighing, he gave it up as a lost cause. At least it was only water. He moved to stand beside Sam, who gave him a sympathetic look, before turning her attention back to Jack and Teal'c. Daniel was just in time to witness Jack holding the bottle cap and Teal'c give the bottle a shove. Before he could wonder what they were up to, water sloshed out of the open bottle, and Jack caught it in the cap with a minimum of splashing. Grinning, Jack set the cap down.

With the cap, they were all able to take turns drinking their fill. After they'd all had enough, Jack and Teal'c refilled the cap again, and they each took turns splashing the room temperature water over hands and faces. Even as small as they were, they still had to contend with dust and dirt. Refreshed, Jack ordered them to get ready to move out. At first, he wanted to bring along the bottle cap full of water, but Carter worried that it would spill, causing the sensitive electronics of the Hummer to short out, so Jack reluctantly left the cap behind. He did insist on bringing the second napkin full of cake that Teal'c had brought back from his second trip. They used the string from the yo-yo to secure it in the back, keeping it from being jounced around.

With the small number of useful items safely stowed in the Hummer and on their persons, SG-1 clustered around the formerly remote controlled vehicle. Jack headed for the driver seat, when Carter coughed, catching his attention.

"Sir," she said hesitantly, "I think I should drive."

One of Jack's eyebrows shot up, in a perfect imitation of Teal'c. "You think," he spoke slowly, and a little incredulously, "That _you _should drive _my_ car?" He enunciated carefully, and crossed his arms, waiting for her explanation. It had to be a good one.

Suddenly uncomfortable, Carter shifted from foot to foot. "Well sir, it's just that, you see, the controls aren't quite what you're used to."

"Just explain them to me Carter, I'll get it."

"It's not just that, sir. I had to jury rig controls for the steering, power and lights, as well as the brakes and throttle since traditional pedals wouldn't work, and that's not considering that the pedals were glued in place. I also had to find a way to override the radio frequency used to control the vehicle. I'm afraid that some of the new overrides are very sensitive, and I'm not sure if…"

"Fine, fine, fine. I get it. You can drive Carter." He started to walk around to the passenger side, and Carter hid her triumphant grin.

"And Carter?" She whipped around at his call, to see his head poking over the top of the Hummer.

"Sir?"

"Next time, just _say_ you want to drive." With that, the Colonel ducked inside and pulled the door shut.

Sam shared a quick look with Daniel, who just shrugged, as if to say she was on her own before getting into the back seat next to Teal'c. Sam blinked, then shrugged, climbing into the driver's seat and slipping under the realistic looking seatbelts, hoping they would be secure enough despite the fact it was never designed to hold a person, albeit a very small one. A quick glance at the rest of her team showed that they had all done the same thing. Satisfied, Sam reached over and toggled the power, looking over at her CO for the go-ahead.

Jack watched his second, who was barely able to contain her excitement. You'd think she'd never been behind the wheel of a moving vehicle the way she was acting; yet he couldn't blame her. After all, he'd wanted the pilot's seat himself. Looking at the rather daunting array of wires and toggles now mounted on the dash and steering column with duct tape however, Jack was actually kind of glad he'd acquiesced to her unspoken wish. Besides, she'd worked damn hard on this thing, while he'd basically twiddled his thumbs. He'd taken the center seat on too many of her pet projects and she'd never voiced a complaint for him to quibble now. Still, he hoped he wouldn't regret entrusting his baby to her care.

Realizing she was waiting for him, Jack couldn't resist quoting a certain sci-fi series, which he'd never admit to watching. "Engage."

Carter grinned, and flipped another toggle, spinning the wheel to turn them around and punching another lever that was mounted in between the seats, which Jack hadn't noticed until then. All in all, he was pretty impressed with what Carter had come up with on short notice and with limited materials. Someday, he'd have to ask her how she'd done it all. For now however, he found his hands straying to the "oh shit bar" oh so conveniently located on the authentically detailed dash, as the hummer zipped out of the office and into the hallway, pressing them all back into their seats.

"Uh, Carter, you wanna slow down?"

"Sorry sir." She apologized, not sounding the least bit sorry. All the same, she eased the lever back marginally, never taking her eyes off the road. Jack however, was busy watching the speed demon take over his usually calm and collected Major, and was ill prepared when Carter yanked suddenly on the steering wheel, pulling hard to the right. She punched a different lever on the dash, causing the car to spin slightly, going as far as to tilt sideways on two wheels for an agonizing moment before rocking back down with a resounding thud.

Before he could ask Carter what the hell she was doing, a large black boot appeared on the hood of the Hummer, pushing the front end down.

A/N: Ok, I just needed to explain. All those times that Carter worked her butt off on the X-3-oh-whatevers and Jack jumps into the pilot seat or worse, takes second seat and leaves Carter earthbound, well just got me steamed. I mean, how unfair. Most of the time he didn't even seem to know about the project, so why did HE get to go when Sam couldn't? And obviously it's well known that Jack's always grabbing the front seat. Take Fragile Balance for example. So anyway, this is my revenge, it's Carter's turn to drive one of Jack's pet projects… Besides, I think the show has done a bit of a disservice to Carter, in not letting her rare fun and thrill seeking side show thru, so I wanted to let Carter explore her "need for speed" in the next chapter or two…


	12. Zoom Zoom

A/N: Myriadragon, that's exactly what I was thinking. In season four, in the episode The Curse, we discover Carter has this beautiful classic cherry red Indian. And yet, there's never any hint until the season seven episode Space Race that you mentioned where they even hinted that Carter actually rides the thing. And yep, there's a few times where its hinted Carter is a bit of a hmmmm lead foot? Such as the reference at the beginning of Chimera in season seven where Jack says "speeding _again_ are we?" and the few times we get to see Sam chasing down replicator bugs or blowing up stuff and saying that she's having fun. But overall, have we ever really seen what Carter does for fun on the show? Have we ever seen her on that bike? Doing stuff besides building naquadah reactors? Not much, but than again, there isn't much shown about the others either, which is kinda sad that there isn't much known about what the four main characters of a show now entering its 9th season do when not saving the planet.

_Before he could ask Carter what the hell she was doing, a large black boot appeared on the hood of the Hummer, pushing the front end down. _

_Chapter 12: Zoom Zoom_

"Gotcha," crowed a triumphant voice overhead. Two more sets of boots appeared on either side of the vehicle.

"What the hell," was all Jack managed before Daniel interrupted.

"Jack, we need to try and get their attention" Daniel leaned forward in his seat, peering out the front window.

"And just how do we do that?" Jack scowled at the boot pressing the Hummer down.

"Sir! The Horn!"

"Do it!" The words had barely left his mouth when Carter depressed a smaller lever, causing the horn to sound and the lights flash. Unfortunately, they got an unexpected reaction.

Rough laughter sounded overhead, and the boot started to jiggle, causing the Hummer to bounce up and down with bone jarring precision. "Come out come out wherever you are Colonel," jeered a loud male voice, presumably the owner of the boot.

"Jack, they think you must be somewhere hiding, controlling the car!" Daniel was clinging to the door handle for dear life.

"O'Neill, I did warn you not to cross paths with SG-13." Teal'c recalled how he had overheard the team of Marines threatening to steal the Colonel's toy if he annoyed them with it one more time, but O'Neill had not heeded his advice.

"For crying out loud! Carter, get us out of here!" He watched as she tried to punch the throttle, then unsuccessfully tried to slam it into reverse, but the back wheels had been lifted off the floor and there was too much weight on the front ones for the four-wheel drive to kick in. Not wanting to strip the gears, Carter cut the power. "Sorry sir," she cried.

"Crap! Damn Jarheads!" More laughter from above them threatened to drown out his words.

"What's a matter Colonel, toy got stuck? We should see how well you can get unstuck when you're upside down!" The boot moved as if to put actions to words, and it was all the opening that Carter needed. Without waiting for the Colonel's order, Sam floored it, sending the vehicle spinning around, dodging boots and narrowly missing the wall in the process.

"Hey, watch the paint!"

"Sorry sir!"

Startled shouts could be heard behind them, as the Marines regrouped and realized that their fun was rapidly disappearing down the hallway. Three sets of boots took up pursuit.

"Carter…" warned Jack, "I see them sir!" It had been impossible to miss the large booted feet of the Marines, even in the tiny functional rearview mirror. Carter yanked the wheel again, narrowly missing a pair of feet that had just appeared from a doorway, and the dropped cup of coffee that followed. "Sorry," she said to no one in particular. The Marines on their tail continued undeterred as she pushed the little vehicle to its limits, making the small motor whine.

"Hold on!" she yelled, the only warning they got before she abruptly yanked the wheel again, this time hard to the left, the miniature Hummer careening around the sharp corner on two wheels, but she didn't slow down. Ahead of them a ramp appeared, and Jack immediately recognized the corridor as the one leading to the infirmary. Carter however, was not slowing the slightest.

"Uh, Carter…" he said. Her attention was solely on the path in front of them, and Jack tried again. "Carter, don't you want to slow down?" Whether she heard him at all, he had no clue, but before he knew it they were rocketing up the ramp and Jack gripped the bar in front of him so hard his knuckles went white. All too soon, they were at the top of the ramp and airborne, the rugged little Hummer flying through the air. But the Hummer wasn't designed for flight, and more rapidly than comfort allowed they were back on the ground. While the four oversized air-filled rubber tires absorbed much of the impact, the small vehicle still bounced and jolted when the wheels returned to the earth, Jack swearing the landing had loosened his teeth.

But Carter didn't slow their speed even as she struggled to maintain control of the steering, and Jack realized the Marines were still pursuing them; the number of boots behind them had seemingly doubled. Wondering if he had placed their lives, and more importantly, his favorite new toy, into the hands of a confirmed lead foot, Jack found himself praying again.

And then they were in the infirmary, dodging an astonishing array of furniture, feet, and equipment. Sam unerringly headed for a bed, the headlights coming on with a flick of a switch, illuminating the way. Not until they had slipped in under the bed did Sam slow their headlong flight. Unfortunately, she was just a hair too slow, because the wall ahead of them was approaching with alarming speed.


	13. Janet's Ire

_And then they were in the infirmary, dodging an astonishing array of furniture, feet, and equipment. Sam unerringly headed for a bed, the headlights coming on with a flick of a switch, illuminating the way. Not until they had slipped in under the bed did Sam slow their headlong flight. Unfortunately, she was just a hair too slow, because the wall ahead of them was approaching with alarming speed._

_Chapter 13: Janet's Ire_

Skidding, and no doubt leaving marks on Janet's pristine floors, Sam desperately tried to slow the vehicle's momentum. Despite her best efforts, the front bumper impacted forcefully with the wall, the Hummer bouncing back a bit before coming to a complete stop. Somehow, the permanently mounted plastic restraints held, though they had all been thrown forward and back into their seats.

Erie shadows and dust motes danced in the glow from the little vehicle's headlights, as the team sat in shocked silence. In the distance, Janet's unmistakably raised voice could be heard as she took the group of Marines down a peg. Looked like the chase was over. Finally, Jack took a deep breath, and spoke. "Carter?"

"Sir?"

"Where the _hell_ did you learn to drive like that?"

A soft snicker, that turned into a cough was all the reply he got. Jack quickly flexed his arms and legs, and deciding nothing was broken, he did a quick damage assessment. "Danny, Teal'c, you guys ok back there?"

"I am well O'Neill." Teal'c replied, followed by Daniel's "I'm fine Jack."

Satisfied, he turned his attention to the driver. "Carter?"

She hesitated, before replying with a vague "Fine sir."

Not believing her, he repeated his query. "Carter?"

A soft sigh, before she finally admitted, "I bumped my head on the steering wheel, and my nose is bleeding again. But I'm fine, really sir."

"Well, we'll check it out in a minute, but seriously Carter, how'd you learn to drive this thing? You seemed to know just how much it could take. And I know you never played with one before." A sudden suspicion caused the Colonel to look at the woman next to him critically. "Or have you?"

The sudden sharp intake of breath next to him told him he'd just hit the proverbial nail on the head. An evil glint appeared in his eye, and he just couldn't resist ribbing her a little bit. "Carter, you wouldn't have been playing with _toys_ now?" Jack dearly wished the dim light under the bed would let him see her face, because he knew she had to be blushing.

"It was a gift," she blurted, confirming her guilt. "For my nephew," she added quickly.

"Ah. Your nephew." said Daniel innocently from the backseat, unable to resist a bit of teasing himself, the banter settling his shaken nerves after their wild ride.

"After I saw the Colonel's, I thought it looked like something he'd get a kick out of, so I got him one for his birthday." Carter spoke defensively.

"Oh. I see," drawled the Colonel, the evil glint still in his eye. Jack wasn't quite ready to let the subject drop. "And I suppose you never, oh, I don't know, felt the need to test drive it?"

Her uncomfortable shifting confirmed his suspicions before she even spoke. "Well, Mark and I thought we should make sure it worked. It was pretty expensive, would have been a shame if I'd given it to him and it didn't run."

"Oh, of course, a real shame." Finally, Jack took pity on her squirming, and let her off the hook. "Nice flying Carter."

A brief flash of white let him know he'd just earned a grin. "Thank you sir."

"Ok kids, we better check this bucket of bolts out, make sure those Jarheads didn't knock anything loose." He had just prepared to open the door when the Hummer started to slide slowly and inexorably backwards. "Uh, Carter?"

Holding her hands up to show she wasn't touching anything, she shook her head frantically, "Wasn't me sir!"

"Then what the…" "O'Neill!" Jack turned to look out the back window where Teal'c was motioning.

"Oh god, it's Janet!" Daniel was looking out the back window too.

"Colonel O'Neill!" Janet still sounded pissed, as she dragged the vehicle backwards. "What have I told you about bringing this thing into my infirmary?"

"Jack, don't tell me you've been bothering Janet with this thing too?" Daniel's voice held a pleading note, suddenly doubting the wisdom of actually traveling inside something that Jack had been gleefully terrorizing the base with.

Jack was given no chanceto defend himself, as the Doctor suddenly lifted the car by its back bumper and stood, letting the vehicle dangle, oblivious as the tiny people inside were thrown forward with bruising force, held in place only by their plastic restraints. Jack winced as he heard Carter whack her head against the steering wheel again with a grunt, barely saving his own face from a similar impact with the dashboard. He felt Teal'c's hands against the back of his seat, and hoped Daniel was faring ok since he couldn't see the other man either.

Unaware of the struggles inside the toy, Janet gave the object in question a little shake. "Colonel, I want you out here right now, or this thing is going into my office, and you just might never see it again. Don't you realize the entire base is looking for you, and here you are playing with toys, wreaking havoc in my infirmary." As if to emphasize her point, Janet lifted the Hummer out in front of her and gave it another shake.

Jack's mouth opened and closed as he struggled to stay in his seat with all the shaking. There was no way he could respond to the Doctor when she couldn't even hear his defense. Besides, she wasn't being fair, he'd only sent the car in the infirmary once, and he hadn't meant to trip that nurse, who'd been carrying a tray full of supplies…

Daniel knew they had to do something fast, and without thinking he pushed his door open, sticking out an arm and waving frantically. "Janet!" he shouted ineffectually.

At that moment, Janet had just raised the car, preparing for another shake, when the back passenger door opened. Suddenly wary that the Colonel had planted some sort of surprise, like a squirt of slime or exploding snake, Janet had just thrust the car out an arms length, when something moving inside caught her attention. Her curiosity getting the better of her caution, she leaned in to take a closer look, nearly dropping the car in shock.

Fortunately for SG-1, Janet's usual calm under pressure overruled her shock and she quickly righted the vehicle, peering into the windows, discovering not one, but four small figures dressed in OD green. "SG-1?" she asked hazarding a guess, and was rewarded by the car sounding it's horn. Carefully, she set the vehicle down on the bed, suddenly worried that she may have injured one of them with the shaking. A moment later, and four tiny figures no more than an inch tall climbed out. They all seemed to be standing, though the small blonde figure that came out of the driver's door seemed a little unsteady, the figure from the backseat moving to stand next to her while the other two walked around from the other side to join the first two. Wondering how she'd treat the tiny members of SG-1 if they did have any injuries, Janet called to a passing nurse.

"Nurse, call General Hammond, tell him I need him down here right away." The nurse left to do as ordered, and Janet crouched down so that the tiny figures were at eye level. The blond haired one was now sitting on the bed, and Janet recognized her as Sam. She had both hands over her nose, while a sandy haired figure knelt next to her, the tiny glasses marking him unmistakably as Daniel. The dark one was easy to recognize as Teal'c, though she buried the thought that the man seemed less than impressive at the moment. That made the last one Colonel O'Neill, who was pacing back and forth in front of the car.

"SG-1, what have you gotten yourselves into this time?"


	14. I Got You Babe

"_SG-1, what have you gotten yourselves into this time?" _

_Chapter 14: I Got You Babe_

Janet shook her head at the tiny shapes on the bed in front of her, watching as Daniel stood from his position next to Sam. She permitted herself a breath of relief. Whatever Sam's injuries, it couldn't be too serious, or Daniel wouldn't have left her. Still she itched to be able to examine them herself, but at the moment she had no idea how to do that without hurting them. Her attention was pulled back to the scene in front of her, as Daniel was moving his arms about, obviously speaking and using his hands to emphasize his points, but all Janet heard was an occasional high pitched squeak.

She shook her head. "Sorry Daniel, I can't hear you. Can you hear me? Wave your arms if you can hear me." Daniel waved both arms over his head, and Janet nodded. At that moment the General entered the infirmary.

"Dr. Fraiser, I came as soon as I could, is everything all right?" his eyes landed on the car on the bed, and he frowned. "Is that the Colonel's toy car?" Before the General had time to wonder why the Colonel's prized toy was in the infirmary, Janet spoke.

"Sir, I've found SG-1."

His eyes widened, and his eyebrows rose in surprise. "You have? Where are they, are they ok?" The General looked around the area as if he could spy them on one of the beds or behind the curtains.

"Uh, sir, there's a bit of a uh," she cleared her throat before explaining, "small problem." Janet pointed to the bed, where there appeared to be several small dark items next to the miniature Hummer. The General walked around the bed to stand next to the Doctor, and looked at her curiously. "Look closely," she prompted.

Trusting her, the General leaned down to peer at whatever it was he could see on the bed, and straightened up in surprise. On the bed, four tiny figures waved and jumped up and down. Well, three at least, the fourth was sitting on the bed and had tried to rise, but two of the others had pushed it back down. "SG-1?" he asked incredulously, looking to the doctor for confirmation.

"Yes sir, in the flesh. I can't hear what they are saying, but they can hear us just fine," she added, looking back at the bed before continuing. "The one sitting on the bed is Major Carter I believe, I think she's hurt, but the others don't seem too worried, so hopefully it's not serious. Dr. Jackson is on her left, and you can see Teal'c, which means the Colonel is on Major Carter's right."

"Amazing" General Hammond murmured, and leaned down to peer at the group again, now noticing details he hadn't seen before, like Teal'c's dark skin and the Major's unmistakable blonde hair. Daniel Jackson's glasses were a dead giveaway, even as small as they were. He frowned; Dr. Jackson was waving his arms, and seemed to be pantomiming something. Occasional high pitched squeaks filtered up to his ears, as the man swayed slightly, holding what appeared to be a miniature ink pen to his mouth and speaking. Or was the man singing? Suddenly, he realized what Dr. Jackson was trying to tell him. "A microphone? Is that what you need?"

As if to confirm the General's deduction, the Colonel joined Daniel, taking the 'microphone' and obviously singing as well, with an unmistakable look of love as he looked into the other man's eyes. The two of them looked like they were reenacting Sonny and Cher. The Major was rocking where she sat, obviously having to restrain her laughter. Shaking his head, the General decided he really didn't want to know, and turned to one of the SF's. "Airman, send one of the technical specialists down here."

Having nothing to do while the General and the Doctor started to speculate on what had made SG-1 so small, Jack and Daniel finished their duet, much to the amusement of one Major Carter. Even Teal'c was finding it difficult to maintain his normally stoic expression. Finishing with a flourish, the two locked arms and bowed to the applause of Sam.

"Would the lady like an encore?" Jack asked with a suggestive waggle of his eyebrows.

Sam cut off her applause with a choke, trying to stifle her laughter with her hand. Unfortunately, she bumped her tender nose, making her wince. No doubt, her nose would be turning a rather impressive shade of purple sometime soon.

Seeing her brief look of pain, Jack grew serious immediately and crossed to her side, kneeling down next to her. Sensing the turn in the mood, Sam sobered too and hastened to reassure him. "I'm fine sir, really. Just a little banged up and sore. I've been worse."

"Let me be the judge of that Carter. Hand me that light." Sighing, Sam gave in to the inevitable and fished out the light, tilting up her face so the Colonel could check her eyes, and dutifully reported the correct number of fingers. She winced as his fingers gently explored the bruising on her face, finding no breaks. His good humor returning as soon as he'd ascertained she was ok aside from the bruising, he threatened to buy her a helmet to protect her valuable brain. Sam just scowled back, trying to get up, but the Colonel ordered her to stay put. Sighing, she obeyed. Besides, there wasn't much to do anyway. She tipped her head back against the Hummer's front tire and watched the arrival of the technician.

The General addressed the tech, and eventually the entire group moved away from the bed and was talking quietly, so Sam couldn't hear the conversation. Since nothing interesting was happening, Sam permitted herself to close her eyes and relax, reflecting over the events of the rather unusual and hectic day.

A/N: So anyway, I've decided why not whack Sam in the head every chance I get for the sheer purpose of having Jack look into her eyes every time… heh. Eat your heart out shippers. Oh… and wouldn't you just like to know what Jack and Daniel lovingly sang to each other? Well too bad, cos I ain't telling. :P


	15. Respite

_The General addressed the tech, and eventually the entire group moved away from the bed and was talking quietly, so Sam couldn't hear the conversation. Since nothing interesting was happening, Sam permitted herself to close her eyes and relax, reflecting over the events of the rather unusual and hectic day._

_Chapter 15: Respite_

It seemed to Sam that she had only just closed her eyes, when she was startled by a light touch on her shoulder. The hand tightened when she jolted, and she heard the Colonel's voice. "Easy."

Realizing she must have fallen asleep, she looked apologetically at her superior who was crouching at her side. "Sorry sir."

But he was shaking his head. "Don't worry about it Carter, I kinda figured you would. You may not have a concussion, but you've been knocked on the head how many times in the past few hours? I would've let you sleep, but I figured you should eat. Here." With that, the Colonel thrust something towards her. He was holding out what looked like a crumbled up piece of a very large power bar, and a small white object. She straightened, looking at him quizzically.

"Sir, what's this?" She took the proffered items and found the white object full of water.

Jack shrugged, sitting down. "I think it's a syringe cap. Daniel managed to show the Doc that we could use some food and water while we wait for them to find a microphone and computer sensitive enough to hear us." He motioned over his shoulder, indicating what was behind him. Sam leaned forward to look around his body and could see Daniel talking animatedly with Teal'c. He was also holding his own syringe cap, and Sam noted that there was now a medicine cup filled with water that had a notch cut in it to allow them to reach inside, and a pile of crumbled pieces of a power bar on a piece of napkin.

Sam turned her attention back to the food in front of her, and curiously looked at the capful of water after taking a quick sip. At their present size, it was as wide as a drinking cup and had a flat bottom, so she was able to sit it down while she worked on the bits of power bar. Next to her, Jack had stretched out with his hands behind his head, leaning against the same oversized tire she leaned on. He remained silent, looking around the room while she applied herself to her meal.

"Sir?" she said when finished.

Jack turned his attention back to her. "Yeah Carter?"

"It's been an interesting trip so far hasn't it?"

He cocked his head slightly, quirking an eyebrow. "That it has."

She only nodded, and finished her water. Crumpling her bit of napkin, she brushed her hands off on her thighs and stood up.

"Going somewhere Carter?" The Colonel remained seated, looking up at her.

"Just want to stretch a little before my butt goes numb, sir." As if proving her statement, she stretched her arms up above her head, the joints giving off a little pop. Feeling more refreshed after her brief nap and meal, Sam decided to stay on her feet. "Going to walk around a little sir, work out the kinks."

"Sure thing Carter. Just don't overdue it. I'll be here, if you need me." Jack pointed at his relaxed posture, and leaned back against the tire, closing his eyes in dismissal.

Sam nodded, even though he couldn't see the motion, and wandered away, stretching out knotted muscles in the process. At the back end of the Hummer, she could see Teal'c in a pose of mediation, and even Daniel had relaxed, laying down on the surface of the bed and looking up at the ceiling. She noted the presence of an SF, standing near the foot of the bed where they all rested. Likely he was there to prevent anyone of making the mistake of sitting on the bed or putting something large and heavy on top of them. Suppressing a shudder, Sam went to check out the damage to the Hummer. Hopefully, though, they wouldn't need to use it to ride in again, since as soon as they could explain what had happened, they could tell someone how to reverse the machine. The sooner she was back at her normal size, the better. Until that moment, Sam needed something to do, so she walked around the remote control vehicle, examining it for damage.

After checking it over inside and out, Sam was satisfied that the only damage were a few cosmetic scratches. Still, the Colonel would be none too pleased, but she thought she'd be able to touch them up. One of the techs that often helped her with the gate repairs had a penchant for building scale models and had a lot of paint. He'd no doubt help her repair the little vehicle, and Jack would never know it had been scratched if he hadn't been there when it had happened.

Voices interrupted her musings and Sam looked up to note the arrival of a new person, this one carrying a lap top computer and a microphone. Carefully, he checked the bed to make sure no miniature people were there, and set the laptop down, plugging the microphone in while the machine booted up. Her teammates all got up from their relaxed positions and came to join her where they could watch.

Before long, the technician had the device ready and indicated that they should try it. Daniel stepped forward and tapped on the microphone, than spoke. "Um, hello." They all winced as a high-pitched squeal emitted from the speakers, and the tech made a hasty adjustment before indicating they should try again. This time, when Daniel spoke, his words were amplified by the computer program, and the General and Doctor Fraiser could hear him just fine.

General Hammond wasted no time in getting down to business. "SG-1, just what the hell happened?"

Jack let Carter and Daniel do most of the talking, since they understood more about the alien device than he did. He shot Carter a look of gratitude when she glossed over how he'd dropped the object, merely stating that it had fallen. Daniel explained his theory about how to reverse the machine, and then they started the narrative of their attempt to use the computer and send an email, and their subsequent escape from Carter's lab. Jack and Teal'c occasionally added details as they explained their narrow escape from the ventilation shafts, their near miss with the floor buffers, and how they came across the remote control vehicle that Carter had rigged to run without the remote. They left out the details of the wild ride Carter had taken them on trying to lose the Marines, but Doctor Fraiser had a pretty good idea what had happened from the part she'd seen.

After the story, Janet quickly asked them if they were ok, Jack answered in the affirmative. "Although," he added, "Carter took a knock to the head what, twice now?" He looked at his teammates for help. "Three times," supplied Teal'c. Sam scowled, looking rather rakish with the various colored bruises across her nose and face.

Janet's eyebrows shot up at that, and Sam hastened to reassure her. "I'm fine Janet, really. The Colonel checked me out. No concussion." Janet's eyebrows only rose further at that, and Sam had a feeling there would be more flashlights in her future.

Assured that SG-1 was relatively unscathed, the General quickly gave orders to have Carter's lab unsealed and power restored. He then sent someone to retrieve the alien device.

Since it would take awhile to get everything coordinated, SG-1 settled down to wait. And wait. And wait some more. Janet and the technician wandered away, and even Hammond grew impatient, finally going to a phone near the entrance to check on what happened to the airman he'd sent to retrieve the alien device. Just as he passed the doorway, green energy enveloped the General and he jolted, before collapsing to the floor. Janet, seeing the General go down moved to press the panic button, when she too was taken down by a burst of green energy that seemed to come out of nowhere. Within moments, everyone in the infirmary who could have summoned an alarm was down.

The four members of SG-1 watched from positions around and under the Hummer, where they'd taken cover the moment the General had fallen, helpless to do anything to aid their comrades.

A/N: Ah! Muse didn't want to end the story just yet. And SG-1 Fanfic has helped me decide to help muse out and continue for a bit more. I hope you weren't ready for it to be done yet either!


	16. Unnoticed

A/N: My apologies, I know its been ages and ages since getting an update out, especially after telling you that muse didn't want to end the story and leaving you all dangling like that. I'm afraid I don't have much more to offer than this. It has been very hectic in the past few months, and it seems like every time get more than two or three days off in a row to get anything done I've been sick. That, and I'm still working on more things for the house and have now decided to work towards a promotion at work which will mean a bunch of paperwork and scheduling changes this summer… well I'll do my best, but I may have taken the wrong route by choosing to take the more difficult decision to continue the story (continuing meant a series of difficult or implausible events to get SG-1 to save the day… while ending it would have meant the story would be over now!)

_The four members of SG-1 watched from positions around and under the Hummer, where they'd taken cover the moment the General had fallen, helpless to do anything to aid their comrades._

_Chapter 16: Unnoticed_

A mechanical beep and whir brought their attention back to the area where the energy discharges had originated. Floating in mid air was a small black cylindrical object. It looked vaguely like an ink pen, except for being a bit longer and wider, and for the small blinking green light at one end. While they watched, the object turned a complete circle, then, as if satisfied it had neutralized all threats, it settled onto a table, the green light fading out.

Jack blinked at the alien device, frowning. "Carter, what the hell was that thing?"

Sam was looking at the thing as well, with a perplexed expression on her face. "I don't know sir. I've never seen anything like it."

"Looks like a floating pen."

Carter blinked at her CO's response, but decided not to reply. Fortunately, her silence was hidden by Daniel's interruption.

"It looks like everyone is just unconscious." Daniel gestured to where the General and Doctor Fraiser lay sprawled. The rest of them could see that they and the staff of the infirmary breathed slowly and regularly as if asleep.

"Well hello." Jack's statement had everyone turning around and ducking back behind the Hummer as two aliens entered the infirmary.

Tall, thin and humanoid looking the resemblance ended there. These beings had a dull greenish cast to their skin, and long wispy gray hair. They wore loose robe-like garments of neutral colors, browns and grays, fastened with wide belts. One of the aliens picked up the floaty pen thingy with its long thin fingers and seemed to be checking something on it, before tucking it inside its robe. Jack made a face as he noticed the aliens had six digits on each hand. Seeing their hands, he realized that this was the delegation from the planet that SG-4 had just visited.

Obviously coming to the same conclusion, Daniel was also frowning at the aliens. "Jack," he wondered, "I thought they were supposed to have been checked out at the beta site before being allowed into the SGC."

Scowling, Jack watched the aliens approach the fallen people, moving around the Hummer to stay out of site. The aliens paid no attention to the bed however, intent only on those they could see lying on the floor. "Yeah, well, obviously they missed something."

Chattering with each other in their native tongue, oblivious to their small watchers, the aliens conferred before approaching each of the unconscious humans and binding their hands and feet with rope before dragging each one to nearby beds and securing them to the bed frames. While the captives could still probably move the beds, it would be rather awkward, which was likely the plan. Once their prisoners were secured, the two aliens left the infirmary.

As soon as they were alone again, Jack straightened up. "Ok kids, options?"

"Jack, we should try to help them escape." Daniel had walked to the side of the bed, watching the unconscious forms.

"And just what do you think we could do Daniel?" Jack's scowl deepened.

"O'Neill, I believe we should attempt to secure weapons."

Jack looked at Teal'c. "And what are we going to do with weapons? I don't think any of us could lift a P-90 right now." His reply bordered on the sarcastic.

Seeing where Teal'c was heading, Carter added her own thoughts. "Not for us, sir. But maybe if we could get something small, like a knife or grenade to the General…"

Nodding, Jack latched onto the plan. "Ok, there's a weapons locker on this level, not far from here. I can't think of any better ideas at the moment. If no one else has any suggestions?" At the quick negative responses from the rest of his team, Jack nodded again. "Ok campers, let's pack up some supplies and move out, we have a base to retake."

SG-1 sprang into action. Teal'c wrapped up the left over bits of the power bar using shredded napkin tied up with threads he had pulled free from the blanket they stood on. There was enough food to last for several meals, although Jack thought he'd get rather tired of power bar soon. Next, Jack turned and examined the medicine cup, wishing there was a way they could bring it along without spilling it everywhere. It definitely wouldn't make the trip down off the bed. As if sensing his thoughts, Daniel headed over to a pile of items on the corner of the bed. "I think I have an idea Jack."

Curiously, Jack followed and watched as the other man shifted a few things around. There were a few packaged syringes of different sizes and a variety of small containers and cups. Catching on just as Daniel rolled out a small jar with a lid, Jack grinned. It just might work. The jar had been meant to hold a single dose of liquid medication, but it was just about the right size for what they needed.

After transferring the water to the jar and replacing the lid, it took the four of them to lift it into the Hummer. They decided to use some of Teal'c's leftover threads and Carter's duct tape to secure the jar, not wanting to use the string from the yo-yo in case they needed it again later. They also decided to bring along the syringe caps, since they made getting a drink much more convenient.

Their meager supplies secured inside the Hummer within a few minutes, Jack surveyed their handiwork. Nodding in satisfaction, Jack was about to order them aboard, when a new problem presented itself. Striding to the edge of the bed, Jack looked down at the rather impressive distance to the floor.

"Uh, kids. Am I the only one seeing a problem here?" The others joined him where he stood, and he could literally see the wheels turning inside Carter's head. As he watched her carefully examining the Hummer, then turn her attention to a nearby chair and the floor beyond it, he frowned.

"Oh, no, no, no. Carter, I don't think so."

She turned to look back at her CO, blinking. Wetting her lips she replied. "Sir, it's the only way. We can make it, I'm sure."

"More testing Carter?" At his reference to her earlier admittance of having "tested" another toy Hummer, she blushed, studying her boots.

Sighing, Jack realized there really were no other options, and they had to do something, since doing nothing was not an alternative. "I suppose you'll want to drive again?"

A smile tugged at the corners of her lips before she successfully hid it. "Well sir, if you really want to…"

Jack took a step back, quickly waving his hands in front of him. "Ah, no. I think our resident stunt driver should take the hot seat." Teal'c raised an eyebrow. "Ok kids, all aboard. This train is leaving the station in T-minus two minutes."

They all headed for the Hummer, climbing in, although Daniel looked a bit reluctant, and Jack couldn't blame him. Making sure they were all secure, the doors closed and locked tight, Jack's hands strayed back to the Oh Shit bar in front of him. As Carter maneuvered the little vehicle into a position to provide the trajectory she wanted, backing up to the very opposite edge of the bed, Jack devoutly prayed that he would not regret the decision he had just made. Realizing that Carter was now looking at him, waiting, Jack raised a fist. "Hit it Carter," he ordered, thrusting his fist forward, and was almost immediately slammed back into his seat as Carter floored it.


	17. Defying Gravity

_As Carter maneuvered the little vehicle into a position to provide the trajectory she wanted, backing up to the very opposite edge of the bed, Jack devoutly prayed that he would not regret the decision he had just made. Realizing that Carter was now looking at him, waiting, Jack raised a fist. "Hit it Carter," he ordered, thrusting his fist forward, and was almost immediately slammed back into his seat as Carter floored it._

_Chapter 17: Defying Gravity_

Time could take on many qualities, and at that moment it decided to move entirely too fast while seeming to move in slow motion all in the space of a few heartbeats. All too quickly, the previously radio controlled vehicle carrying four undersized living beings rocketed across the bed, and equally too fast for comfort was airborne. And then time became suspended as they hung in midair, defying the laws of gravity, as if time had forgotten to notice the little vehicle and its occupants. But all too soon, time caught up and the tires made contact with the chair, the impact snapping their heads back. But the chair was not their final destination and a sinking sensation clutched at Jack's stomach as in an instant they were plummeting again. In the seemingly endless moment of freefall, Jack decided that if they got out of this one he would be trading in the Hummer for something with wings.

The floor came too quickly when time resumed its proper pace, the tiny vehicle bouncing and lurching and somehow beating the odds to remain upright. Body parts collided with the unforgiving metal and plastic casing of the model. Groans and muttered curses punctuated the sudden silence created by the cessation of noise from an overworked miniature engine and the free spinning tires.

"Um, ow." Jack looked at Carter to find her rubbing her forehead, a perplexed expression on her face. Similar grumbles came from Daniel's direction in the backseat, and Jack found it difficult to bury his own complaints. Deciding he needed a moment to touch base with terra firma, Jack opened his door and slipped out, not too surprised when three other doors opened and the rest of the team staggered out.

"We did it sir." There was a touch of awe in Carter's voice as she spoke, still rubbing distractedly at her forehead where there was likely another bruise. Jack decided to overlook the Majors comment; he didn't want to dwell on the possibility that she had been anything less than 100 percent positive that they would have pulled this stunt off. Instead, Jack turned a critical eye over his team.

"Anybody hurt?" he asked. A chorus of "No sir" "I'm fine" and "I am well" came back to him. Out of all of them, Teal'c was the only one he believed right away. Daniel was rubbing his elbow unobtrusively and even though Carter had stopped rubbing her forehead and was now examining the Hummer for signs of damage, he still decided she really needed a helmet. General Hammond would not forgive him if he let the Earth's foremost expert on Gate technology get brained.

Carter seemed bright and alert however as she poked under the vehicle to check on the suspension so he decided to forgo the post concussive check this time, although he knew how to use that flashlight if she showed even the slightest sign of head trauma. Daniel had joined Carter in peering under the front of their transport, so Jack decided the archeologist was ok too.

"Everything check out Carter?" The corner of Jack's mouth quirked as a slightly distracted "Sir?" filtered back to him from underneath the Hummer. Walking around to the front where he'd last seen his errant scientist, Jack exchanged a quick glance with Daniel, who was crouched down in front of the bumper. Daniel only shrugged and gave a crooked smile, inclining his head towards the pair of legs poking out from under the vehicle. With a sudden devilish grin quirking at the corner of his lips, Jack reached down, grabbed an ankle, and gave it a tug while at the same time barking out a sharp, "Carter!"

The ankle in his grasp jerked, and an unmistakable thunk could be heard followed by a somewhat muffled and very unladylike curse. Wincing in sympathy at the unexpected response, Jack let go of her ankle and moved back giving her space to come out. He was definitely getting her a helmet.

A moment later and a slightly rumpled blue-eyed Major sat regarding him while again rubbing at her head. "Sir?" she questioned, frowning slightly.

Narrowing his eyes at her critically first, he finally replied. "Everything ok under there Major?"

"Yes sir. I just wanted to make sure the jolting didn't cause any problems with the suspension." Nodding at her response, the Colonel rose, offering her a hand up.

"Ok kids, we ready to get moving?" When all the affirmative replies filtered back to him, Jack climbed back into the Hummer; relieved they weren't going to be flying off any more furniture.

Once they were all strapped back in, Jack looked over at the driver. "Ok Carter, this time take it easy, we don't want to run into any hostiles."

"Yes sir." She put the vehicle in drive, and headed out of the infirmary, sticking close to the walls and when possible, staying under or near cover, although once they left the infirmary, that cover would swiftly disappear. Reaching the doorway, she carefully nosed the Hummer out into the corridor, all of them staying alert for any signs of the aliens. The hallways seemed deserted however, especially for the hour of the day when the base should have been teeming with activity. There were no signs of their alien 'guests' or their floating pens.

Following the Colonel's directions, Sam eased the little vehicle down the hall, turning when instructed. Pulling around an abandoned janitor's cart along the corridor they were in, Sam made a left, carefully following the hallway for a short distance. The Colonel indicated that the next turn was the last, and Sam hugged the wall as she guided the vehicle around the corner, almost immediately slamming into reverse. Next to her, the Colonel cursed, confirming her suspicion that the two aliens in the middle of the hall had got to the weapons locker before them. Carter backed the vehicle down the hall they'd come out of to be on the safe side, parking it behind the janitor's cart out of sight, in case they'd been noticed.

"Sir?" Carter spoke hesitantly. So far there were no indication that the two aliens had spotted them during their brief peek around the corner, so engrossed in removing weapons from storage, though to what purpose they had no idea.

"I believe a diversion is in order, O'Neill." Teal'c spoke up from the back seat and Jack frowned, his eyes coming to rest on the janitor's cart next to them.

Slowly his eyes traveled up and a small smile started to play across his features.

"I think you're right Teal'c. Carter, how's your chemistry skills?" Sam blinked at her CO's sudden question, and her brow furrowed for a moment before she caught on. A matching smile spread across her features as she returned his glance. A diversion indeed.


	18. A Diversion

_"I think you're right Teal'c. Carter, how's your chemistry skills?" Sam blinked at her CO's sudden question, and her brow furrowed for a moment before she caught on. A matching smile spread across her features as she returned his glance. A diversion indeed._

_Chapter 18: A Diversion_

"Uh, guys?" Daniel's brow was furrowed as he blinked at his companions in confusion. Teal'c was already climbing out of the little Hummer, Sam quickly following suit. Jack sent a lopsided grin to the confused archeologist.

"Didn't you ever play with chemistry sets and blow stuff up Daniel?" With that cryptic remark, Jack slid out of the vehicle, leaving Daniel to follow. Teal'c and Sam were already at the back of the Hummer pulling out the string from the ill-fated yo-yo, and peering up at the janitor cart. Jack quickly headed to the corner of the corridor and checked to make sure no weird looking aliens had followed them, and soon headed back.

"How's it look kids?" Jack rocked up on the balls of his feet before stuffing his hands in his pockets, eyebrows raised inquiringly.

Teal'c inclined his head towards Jack. "I believe I will be able to scale to distance required O'Neill. Major Carter is confident that the chemical in the white jug will be sufficient for our purposes."

"Sir, I think we might need some sort of fuse," Sam frowned, biting her lip as the problem occurred to her, "I think I saw a cleaning rag up there as well. Teal'c, if you can, try and drop it down. We might be able to use it as a sort of wick. It will also give us more time to get far enough away."

Teal'c bowed his head solemnly as Jack nodded. "Good thinking Major. Let's make this thing." With that, Sam and Teal'c sprang into action, each to their respective tasks.

Daniel continued to look confused. "Jack, what are you doing?"

"We are making a diversion Daniel," Jack replied rather unhelpfully, as he watched Teal'c start to scale a broom leaning against the cleaning cart. The string from the yo-yo was tied to the large man's belt, and from the corner of his eye, Jack watched as Carter carefully uncoiled the rest, letting it play out. Once Teal'c reached the top, she'd tie her end off to the front end of the Hummer and Teal'c would transfer his end to the white jug.

Not one to give up on a verbal debate, Daniel persisted. "Um, yes. I gathered that. What sort of diversion, exactly?" Daniel's eyes widened expectantly as he crossed his arms, pointedly waiting for a response.

Finally, Jack turned his attention away from Teal'c and looked at Daniel. Nonchalantly, Jack scuffed the toe of one his boots along the floor and shrugged a shoulder. "Oh, I don't know Daniel. Something flammable."

Daniel winced, and chewed his lip thoughtfully. "Jack. Do you think that's wise? I mean, won't that set off the overhead sprinklers?"

Jack blinked, his boot pausing in mid-scuff as he frowned down at it. Daniel could almost see the gears turning in the other man's head. Jack's mouth opened, than shut abruptly, and his brow furrowed. Daniel's eyebrows rose curiously as he waited patiently. With a suddenness that was startling, Jack's head lifted and he whiled around.

"Carter!" he barked.

"Sir?" Sam looked up from her task. Teal'c was nearing the top of the cart.

Jack gestured towards the Hummer. "Is this thing watertight?" At her look of confusion he explained. "If we set off the sprinklers, will it, you know…" he trailed off at the dawning look of comprehension on her face.

Slightly distracted from watching Teal'c, Sam replied. "We should be fine sir. We couldn't take water inside since I had the wiring exposed, but Mark and I took the one I bought through mud, water, just about everything and it did fine. As long as we try to keep the exposure as brief as possible, we should be okay. Besides, each section of the base is compartmentalized in the event of fire, as long as we get out of the section where the fire is quickly enough, we won't be exposed to the water for very long." A slight tug on the string alerted Sam to the fact that Teal'c had attained his goal and had tied off his end of the string onto the white bottle, as well as climbing to the top of the bottle and loosening the cap. While Teal'c tossed the cleaning rag down like an oversized parachute and Daniel went to collect it, Jack watched his 2IC with a bemused grin.

Sensing his scrutiny, Sam looked up from securing the line to the front bumper of the hummer. "Sir?"

"Mud _and_ water?" His lips twitched slightly. He was so not going to let her forget her earlier admission of "testing" the remote control toy she'd supposedly bought for her nephew, especially with these new details.

Her cheeks grew warm and she checked the knots with particular care to hide her face. "And sand," she mumbled. "We wanted to make sure it was a good buy!" she protested when she heard the badly muffled snort behind her.

"And how did it measure up, Major?" Jack's eyes were twinkling.

"It was better, after I, ah, modified it. Sir." She wouldn't meet his eyes. Suddenly, the Major was paying the most meticulous attention to tying knots in the history of man. The Boy Scouts of America would have been proud; too bad they didn't let girls in.

Oh ho! Did she just say she'd modified her nephew's toy? Jack's eye's widened. She was so gonna get it. "Carter, did you make a few enhancements to your nephew's birthday present?" The Colonel's tone dripped mock disbelief and shock. He was really enjoying himself at her discomfort. It wasn't every day he got to tease her. But it wasn't every day the normally serious major admitted that she played with toys, even if they were really cool electronic remote control toys.

Fortunately Sam was saved from eternal embarrassment by the arrival of Daniel dragging the cleaning rag, and Teal'c following behind after having slid down the broom handle to the ground. Jack gave the blushing Major an appraising look, "Later Carter," he said under his breath, ignoring the curious look from Daniel. "So," he said, looking at the two new arrivals. "We all set kids?"

Teal'c inclined his head. "All is in readiness O'Neill, although I was unable to ascertain how much liquid remained in the bottle."

Jack waved his hands. "Doesn't matter. Even if it's only a little bit, it will be enough to cause a bit of smoke and that's all we need. More would be better, but we can't be picky with what we get. Carter, you ready?"

Sam just nodded briskly; her cheeks still a telltale shade of pink, and climbed quickly up into the Hummer, Jack herding the others away to a safe distance. She powered up the engine and backed up, the string rapidly going taut. The Hummer's little engine whined, the pitch increasing. At first the tires spun freely on the smooth concrete floor. The pitch of the small motor changed and the little engine continued to whine as the tires spun and then slowly the little truck started to move. Jack could barely make out Carter through the plastic windshield, her face a mask of concentration. The vehicle slid, and started to move a little, in a bit of an S type pattern as it shifted back and forth slightly, a rubbery smell from the tires leaking into the air. Jack frowned, looking at the tension in the line between the now obviously very full chemical bottle and the little motorized hummer

Just as the Colonel was rethinking the wisdom of engaging in this little tug of war contest, the jug suddenly budged. It had been near the edge of the cart and Teal'c had tied the string on the curved handle near the top of the bottle. Finally giving in to the inevitable pull of gravity the bottle tipped. Unfortunately, it was heading on a direct trajectory for the Hummer and Sam!

A/N: I thought we needed some more action! And you haven't forgotten about my cliffhangers right? And I couldn't resist a bit of Sam and Jack teasing and the little Jack and Daniel conversation either. More to come soon. Maybe. (looks innocent) PS. Anyone want a cat? He's nice and clean, he decided to help me with the laundry and got laundry soap all over his ear, so I had to wash it off. And of course it was nice and foamy. Poor Sam, that will teach him to go sticking his head where it doesn't belong. Er, well, probably not. He never seems to learn.


	19. Combustible

A/N: I meant to have this chapter out over the weekend, but sad news in the family. My grandfather, who has been in failing health with diabetes, several strokes, congestive heart failure and COPD went into the hospital last week with pneumonia. He seemed to be doing better, but then it was discovered his kidneys were failing and the decision was reached that it would be best to just let him go peacefully. Friday he was taken home on hospice, so that he could at least be at home, surrounded by his own family. I spent the night there on Satruday to help out my aunts who have been caring for him for the past year. Stopping over this morning, he was resting comfortably and fairly easily, if a bit in and out of it, he's very confused, and calls out a lot for his wife who's been dead for years, but under the recommendations of the hospice nurse yesterday, the Morphine and Ativan have really helped with the agitation and restlessness. My aunts have things under control tonight, and we're trying to keep things quiet for him, since he seems to sleep a lot. So I thought I'd post up the chapter I had written. The story is actually written, just needs some editing and its ready to go you'll be happy to note, though it almost seems people have lost interest, well not everyone. I'll still post the rest, don't worry. But if I disappear for a few days, you'll know where I went this time. Oh, and while I was at grandpop's all night with my brother's laptop, I worked on another story. Something I think you'll enjoy. Its funny, with frogs, and kisses, and a naked Jack… and maybe some S/J. And that's all I'm telling you for now.

_Just as the Colonel was rethinking the wisdom of engaging in this little tug of war contest, the jug suddenly budged. It had been near the edge of the cart and Teal'c had tied the string on the curved handle near the top of the bottle. Finally giving into the inevitable pull of gravity the bottle tipped. Unfortunately, it was heading on a direct trajectory for the Hummer and Sam!_

_Chapter 19: Combustible_

Jack's throat went dry and his tongue was stuck to the roof of his mouth as he watched the enormous bottle hurtling directly toward his 2IC as if in slow motion. Horror kept him rooted to the spot even as the rational part of his mind told him there was nothing he could do to help Carter. He wanted to close his eyes but his eyes would not obey him, and so they were able to bear witness to the unbelievable death defying twists and turns that somehow Carter was able to put the Hummer into. Jack had no idea how she did it. One minute the jug was heading for her, and the next thing he knew, the Hummer was spinning and teetering on two wheels, and the bottom end of the jug was hitting the ground inches from her, chemical splattering from the open end that was mercifully pointed away from the vehicle. The jug had bounced again, and this time it did strike the passenger side of the Hummer causing it to skid sideways before the vehicle finally came to a shuddering stop.

Snapping into action Jack raced around to the driver side door of the now quite still Hummer, Daniel and Teal'c at his heels. All of them avoided the rapidly spreading chemical puddle that bubbled out from the gently rolling bottle, which was also cracked on the bottom where it had hit the floor. Absently, he noticed that the passenger door was dented from the impact of the chemical bottle and Jack repressed a shudder, remembering the much greater force of the original impact the jug had made with the ground and would have been directly over the driver's compartment had Carter not dodged out of the way.

Scaling the tire, Jack opened the front door to find Carter slumped over the steering wheel unmoving. "Carter?" he said softly. Quickly, he reached for a pulse at her neck, relieved when she moaned and stirred.

"Shhh. Lie still. Let me see how bad you've been hurt." He tried to settle his hands on her shoulders but either she didn't hear him or she was ignoring him, because she pushed against his hands and sat back into the seat looking at him with a dazed expression on her face. He noted with concern a small amount of blood above her left eye.

"Hey, I told you to hold still, Major. You okay?" When she just looked back at him blinking and frowning, Jack frowned in return. "Sam? What's wrong?"

Finally her eyes seemed to focus on him and she blinked again. "C-colonel? Did we do it?"

Jack permitted a sigh of relief. "Yeah. Yeah Carter, we did it. Don't scare me like that again, okay?"

"S-sorry sir." She frowned down at her hands, still clenched around the steering wheel as if willing them to relax. As if sensing her thoughts, Jack briefly laid his hand over one of hers and squeezed.

"Jack? Sam?" Daniel's worried voice filtered up to them from the ground.

"She's okay. We'll be down in a sec." Jack waved down to the two men below, both of whom wore worried faces.

"You sure you're ok?" Jack turned back to the pale-faced woman and studied her intently.

Sam wet her lips and nodded, sucking in a shaky breath and giving him a hesitant smile, removing one of her hands from the steering wheel to run it through her hair.

The Colonel studied her a moment longer, then nodded, satisfied with her response. It had been a close one, but that was nothing new with SG-1. Still… "Take a minute and join us when you're ready Carter. We'll clean that cut up when you come down, and I want to check you for a concussion, so don't hide that flashlight." The last he said with a grin as he slipped out of the Hummer to give her some privacy to regain her composure.

Sam winced at his parting words, she was coming to dread that damn flashlight, and her fingers quickly sought out the warm spot above her eye, coming away sticky and red. She sighed. Taking another deep breath, Sam winced. The seat restraints had no doubt left some rather impressive bruises across her chest and abdomen, but she'd be damned if she'd let the Colonel take a look at that! Her nerves calm enough that her hands wouldn't still be shaking from the adrenaline rush, Sam gingerly slid out of her seat and slipped down the side of the Hummer, at once grateful for the solid presence of Teal'c, offering his silent assistance on her descent.

Daniel gave her arm a brief squeeze as soon as she was safely on the ground and Sam smiled at him, before the Colonel all but pounced on her, ordering her to sit down on the ground. He then proceeded to clean the fortunately shallow cut above her eyebrow with their limited materials, which consisted of several Kleenex confiscated from Daniel and some of their water they'd managed to take along. They had nothing to bandage the cut with, but it was shallow enough that a minute or two of gentle pressure slowed the bleeding enough to let it clot on its own, so it would have to do. Sam managed to sit quietly during the procedure, only flinching once when he probed a particularly tender spot, and patiently sat through the flashlight and finger test, biting her tongue on the smart-ass comment she really wanted to make.

Jack narrowed his eyes at her, sensing the rebellious thoughts in the set of her jaw. "You know Major, insubordination really isn't your style." He grinned as her eyes widened in shock. It was so much fun to push her buttons sometimes.

To her credit, she recovered quickly. "I could always claim it was the head injury, sir."

"What head injury?" Sam only scowled at her CO as Jack waved the flashlight in front of her mockingly. Grinning, Jack stood up, offering his hand and pulling her to her feet. "C'mon Carter, we've got a base to retake."

They joined Teal'c and Daniel, who had checked over the Hummer for other signs of obvious damage and were now looking at the rather impressive puddle of spilled chemical, which was slowly spreading along the corridor and fortunately away from where the Hummer was parked and the direction they needed to go. Thanks to the cracked bottom of the jug, all of the contents had leaked out, and the jug looked to have been nearly full. Near the Hummer lay the cloth that Teal'c had tossed down from the cleaning cart. Sam looked at the rag thoughtfully. "We should roll it up as tightly as possible, and place one end in the chemical, and then light the other end. Hopefully, it will give us enough time to get far enough away."

"Okay, you heard the lady." Jack suited words to action and grabbed a corner of the rag. The other three each grabbed a corner and spread it on the ground, then they all moved down one side and started to roll it up like it was a carpet. As soon as they were done, they used a bit of duct tape to secure it and then put one end in the spill. Moving quickly, since they were worried they'd be discovered any minute having been there so long already, they quickly piled into the Hummer, except for Jack after he'd made sure Carter felt ok to drive. Jack had insisted on being the one to "light the fuse" so to speak and wouldn't hear of anyone else doing it, and so had borrowed Teal'c's book of matches and stayed on the ground while the others had piled into the transportation. Carter maneuvered the vehicle to be in easy reach of the Colonel however, and Daniel had moved into the front seat, leaving Teal'c in the back seat, leaning out so that he could assist the Colonel up into the back if need be so they could get away faster. These were the only changes Jack had consented to.

Crouching down beside the rag, Jack tried not to inhale too much of the chemical fumes. Casting a glance at the Hummer and his waiting teammates, Jack bent over the little match book, and hoped that the teeny little match would be enough to light up what was basically the size of a carpet and a small lake of chemicals. Of course, it took only a small spark to ignite a forest fire. But then again, it sometimes took an entire book of matches to start a campfire… Frowning, Jack dragged his attention back to the task at hand, striking a match against the closed cover, carefully shielding the lit match in his cupped hand, he guided it to the fibers of the rag and held his breath, watching the yellow and red flame cheerily burning down along the matchstick closer to his fingers. In a minute, he'd have to drop it. Moments later, the fibers caught. Gently, oh so gently, Jack blew on the small flames, fanning them, grinning as the flames spread. Before he knew it the entire end of the rag was aflame, and the flames were greedily spreading along the rag. That was his cue.

"O'Neill!' Jack looked up. Teal'c was leaning out of the Hummer, hand outstretched. Hastily tucking the matches into his BDU pocket, Jack sprinted to the truck, grabbing for the outstretched hand. Teal'c's muscles rippled as the great man pulled him effortlessly up and into the safety of the vehicle. No sooner was O'Neill inside and the door shut was Carter accelerating, leaving Jack little time to scramble into his restraints. He had only a single moment to catch a glance out the back window of the tall bright flames when the flames had consumed the rag; their only indication the chemicals had caught was a strange whooshing noise. Without warning, a tremendous force of pressure blew into them, sending the Hummer skidding out of control!


	20. A Little Heist

A/N: Thank you everyone for his or her kind words and thoughts. Grandpop passed away just before I posted this, peacefully yesterday morning at 9am.

And thank you for proving me wrong, with all the lovely reviews. The story truly is nearly almost done this time, I have no new plot twists to throw at you, so when I didn't get too much feedback from folks I knew had been following the story I thought maybe they'd lost interest. Not that it would have stopped me from finishing mind you, since I knew people were still reading it! And some people were still leaving comments (thank you so much, you know who you are!) Anyway, always appreciate it; it's such a nice spirit lifter, especially when you've worked so hard on a chapter, to see what people think of it. So. Two more after this one, and we're really, really done!

_No sooner was O'Neill inside and the door shut was Carter accelerating, leaving Jack little time to scramble into his restraints. He had only a single moment to catch a glance out the back window of the tall bright flames when the flames had consumed the rag; their only indication the chemicals had caught was a strange whooshing noise. Without warning, a tremendous force of pressure blew into them, sending the Hummer skidding out of control!_

_Chapter 20: A Little Heist_

Somehow Carter maintained control of the Hummer, despite the force of the blast behind them. Overhead an alarm sounded, and water started to pour from the ceiling as the sprinklers came on in full force, making it hard to see out the windshield. Carter didn't need anyone to tell her that their position would soon be overwhelmed with the enemy, so as soon as she had regained control of the Hummer she put the figurative pedal to the metal and booked, zipping around the closing blast door in the nick of time and heading to the corner opposite to where the weapons locker was, immediately cutting the engine and hoping no one had seen them. Water dripped off the outside of the little vehicle, and they fervently hoped that any tire tracks they'd left would go unnoticed in the commotion they'd caused.

It seemed they'd found their cover not a moment too soon, as the two aliens they'd spied earlier came pounding down the corridor as soon as she'd parked the Hummer. Jack motioned for everyone to stay quiet, despite the fact that no one would ever hear them. After several moments when no other aliens appeared, the Colonel gave Carter the indication to proceed ahead. Cautiously, she did so, edging down the hall. There were no aliens in sight, but there was a nearly empty weapons locker, the contents of which were lying in piles in the hall.

Quickly, SG-1 got out of the Hummer, looking at the sorted stacks of weapons. "Well, that solves one problem." Jack said, running his hand through his hair. "But why were they emptying out the locker anyway? What would they want with our stuff, if they had their glowy pen thingys?"

Daniel was frowning too. "Jack, if I remember correctly, the delegation was attempting to negotiate for weapons in a dispute they were having, I guess its something the other side didn't have, when they were basically evenly matched."

"Well Hammond would never go for that. Talk about a five finger discount." Jack sighed. He hated when aliens got pushy and decided to just take what they wanted.

Teal'c raised an eyebrow. "I believe the intruders had six fingers O'Neill."

"It's just an expression Teal'c." Jack sounded exasperated.

"Sir, I think we should be able to lift one of the smaller knives and maybe a grenade but probably not anything more than that." Sam interrupted, eyeing the armament with speculation.

"Ok kids, we better make double time before those sticky fingers get back here then." The Colonel moved towards the closest grenade, appraising the logistics of getting the thing into their transportation.

In the end, it took all four of them to lift the grenade into the back of the hummer and the boot knife had to go on top because it was too long to fit inside. They used the string to secure both items. As they were getting ready to head out Daniel noticed something else. "Um, hello."

"Daniel?" Jack raised an eyebrow enquiringly.

Daniel shoved at the handle of a knife, revealing his find. A small pistol.

"Sweet. Carter, see if you can find some bullets for it."

The pistol was small enough that they could manhandle it into the back of the hummer along with the grenade, although it was a tight fit, and the muzzle was pointing uncomfortably towards them. Still it wasn't loaded, they reminded themselves. Miraculously, Carter located a box of bullets not far from the pistol, and while they couldn't take them all, they did bring along a half dozen, which they taped together and loaded into the Hummer.

"Ok, lets go stage a break out. Hey, Carter, you think we'll get a raise for getting Hammond free?" Jack grinned at Sam.

"I don't know sir, he gave me a commendation for knocking him out."

"Well, there's always that." Jack shrugged, and climbed into the Hummer.

Teal'c raised an eyebrow.

Sam grinned and started the motor as soon as everyone was strapped in. They detoured around their diversion, again encountering no resistance.

"Where is everyone?" Jack muttered darkly, his eyes narrowed warily.

"Perhaps the initial strike force has not had time to bring reinforcements from their world O'Neill," speculated Teal'c, an eyebrow raised.

"It hasn't been that long, only a few hours," agreed Daniel from the backseat.

"Hmmph." Jack didn't like it, it was too quiet, and that could only spell trouble.

Sam didn't much like it either, and kept her eyes peeled for any signs of the aliens or anymore of their unusual weapons, but didn't see anything out of the ordinary. Well, nothing except for empty halls, they must have secured all of the base personal somewhere. Since they only knew where the General and Doctor Fraiser and techs were, that's where they were headed, since they were accessible to them at their current size, and SG-1 had no way of riding the elevator or opening doors. Sam didn't really relish another trip through the ventilation shafts anyway.

Even with their cautious pace, they reach the infirmary in a matter of minutes and Sam pulled around the corner, dousing the Hummer's headlamps and immediately easing the vehicle behind a piece of equipment. Jack signaled to Teal'c and slipped out of the Hummer, motioning to Daniel and Carter to stay put. Sam watched the two men slip out of sight. Moments later, Jack and Teal'c were climbing back in.

"They're awake and alone, and no sign of those floating doo-dah's anywhere, let's go. The General is over there. His hands are down lower, he might be able to reach the knife." Jack pointed over to the second bed and Sam followed his direction, wasting no time, every sense alert.

To say General Hammond was surprised to see the little Hummer come zipping up to him would have been an understatement. He'd woken groggy, sore, and disoriented, and more than a bit pissed off to discover that he, along with Doctor Fraiser, and the infirmary staff were all tied securely to the bed frames. Their attempts to free themselves had thus far been unsuccessful. Earlier, Hammond had heard the fire alarm, and had wondered if any of his people had been successful in fighting back this incursion. And then Janet had pointed out that the little Hummer was missing from the next bed, and Hammond had spared a thought of worry for the miniature SG-1. Had their unknown assailant discovered the small people? Or worse, and Hammond shuddered, had they not even been noticed and the small people been killed or accidentally crushed?

And so it was with mixed relief and surprise that Hammond observed the arrival of the remote control vehicle, and with even more amazement noted what appeared to be a boot knife secured to the top of the car. The vehicle pulled up alongside of him. "SG-1?" he asked gruffly. The little car honked in reply, then maneuvered behind him. Hammond caught Doctor Fraiser's eye, who was watching curiously with a bit of hope, than turned back to watch the little car, craning his neck to keep in it sight, just in time to see the two passenger side doors open and two tiny figures get out and climb to the roof of the Hummer. The figures quickly untied the strings holding the boot knife to the top of the Hummer and gave it a shove. Hammond could see though that it was obviously very heavy for them, so the rest would be up to him.

"Thank you SG-1" He could swear he could see the darker figure nodding and the lighter one saluting as they swung back down into the truck. And now it was time for the tricky part. No longer a young, slim man, Hammond twisted as best he could. His fingers stretched, pulling against the rope. Squeezing his eyes shut in concentration and biting his lip, his fingers quested, just barely brushing against the handle. Shifting just a bit more, careful not to bump the little vehicle, Hammond was able to grasp the knife more fully. Carefully rotating the blade around, Hammond went to work on the thick cords binding his hands.

Several minutes later, the General had a few small nicks and his hands free to show for his efforts. Sparing a quick glance of gratitude at the little Hummer, Hammond moved across the aisle to free the bonds of first Fraiser and then the nearest technician, when a little honk drew his attention back to the Hummer. He noticed that the back door was now open. Getting down on hands and knees and peering closely, he could see three figures pulling at something in the back compartment. He also saw the driver's door was open, and a fourth tiny figure waved a tiny salute. He smiled. "At ease Major," he said recognizing the driver, and source of the horn that had caught his attention. And then his eyes widened as he caught sight of what the other three members of SG-1 were manhandling out of the back of the Hummer.

A grin spread across Hammond's face as he reached to gently relieve the tiny figures of the grenade. "Very good SG-1, you've really outdone yourselves this time." The horn sounded again, and Hammond's brow furrowed. "Is there more?" he asked. The three figures stepped away from the vehicle and Carter closed the driver's door before she pulled away and backed the Hummer up to him in a clear invitation for him to look inside. Exchanging a look with Janet who'd come over, Hammond set down the knife and leaned down to peer inside the back of the vehicle, his grin coming back even wider. "Hot damn, but I this is one debriefing I can't wait to hear," Hammond muttered as he gently reached into the back of the Hummer and pulled out the pistol and bullets, then passed them to an airman that the others had freed while he'd been occupied with SG-1. They now had six mobile full sized personnel, a hand grenade, a pistol, whatever drugs Janet could whip up, and SG-1 who proved to be more resourceful than one could have thought possible at their current size. All in all things were looking more in their favor.

Picking up the knife and handing the grenade to the technician, Hammond rose and dusted off his pants, looking over the small group. "Okay people, we need to find out what we're up against. SG-1…"

Suddenly, the General was interrupted by the arrival of two of the aliens, who seemed surprised to see the group unsecured and awake. They immediately garbled something in their language, and one of them held up one of the pen things. He never got a chance to fire the thing, as the airman with the pistol fired his weapon, taking him out, making grayish green blood splatter. The other alien wasn't about to give up so easily however, the second one rushed the General. They scuffled for control of the knife, grunting. Their close proximity did not allow the airman to get another shot off with the gun. And then suddenly it was over, the vision of events permanently imprinted on the General's brain. The alien grappling for better leverage, the General's own struggles, the alien's boot connecting with a solid object, and the object flying away, and Hammond's shock as he recognized the object as the small Hummer that SG-1 had driven, that SG-1 might still be in. Even as he somehow found the strength and the opportunity to drive the knife into the alien's abdomen, driving the weapon up towards its heart and killing it, another part of his mind watched in detached fascination as the little vehicle flipped over several times, skidding in a circle before stopping with a crack against a bed frame.

Somehow, he managed to catch the alien, before it's body fell to the floor. "Nobody move!" General Hammond used his best military order voice, the one that commanded instant obedience.

In the sudden stillness, when one peered closely, three tiny figures could be seen moving as rapidly as they could across the floor towards the Hummer and Hammond's heart sank. "Oh God," whispered Janet Fraiser. There was at least one member of SG-1 inside.


	21. Infirmary

A/N: We're almost done! Here's a great big juicy chapter for you, a nice conclusion, and the epilog to follow after…

_In the sudden stillness, when one peered closely, three tiny figures could be seen moving as rapidly as they could across the floor towards the Hummer and Hammond's heart sank. "Oh God," whispered Janet Fraiser. There was at least one member of SG-1 inside._

_Chapter21: Infirmary_

Her head hurt. A lot. She must have gone on quiet a bender, which wasn't even fair since she couldn't even remember going to a party. And where was that beeping coming from? She groaned as she tried to open her eyes, which felt like they'd been glued shut. Shifting, her body protested the movement, and her head awoke with new pounding, the beeping increasing with the tempo in her head and suddenly Carter realized where she was. Infirmary. Cracking one eye open revealed all too familiar gray walls, stiff sheets, lots of wires and the requisite IV in the back of her hand. Sam winced, and cracked her other eye open, grateful that the infirmary lights were dim. It must be late. She closed her eyes again, thinking about drifting off back to sleep when something made her eyes snap wide open, and caused her to bolt upright in bed.

Instantly, Sam regretted her mistake. Grabbing her head in both hands, she curled up on her side drawing in tiny pants to battle the sudden nausea of her abrupt and foolhardy move. The pounding in her head and beeping of the monitors almost drowned out the approaching click clack of heels, but even in her misery Sam sensed her friend's approach and so wasn't startled at the touch of a cool hand on her forehead.

"Careful Sam, you have a pretty bad concussion, you shouldn't be moving around suddenly. Headache? Nausea?" Sam mumbled something in reply which Janet must have taken for a yes, because the cool hand was removed, and Sam felt her moving away and then doing something to the IV tubing. A moment later the hand returned softly brushing away the hair that had fallen on her forehead and then rubbing her back in soothing circles. Sam concentrated on trying to relax and remain still, and gradually the headache receded to a dull ache and the nausea faded.

Finally, Sam relaxed her posture, looking up at her friend and doctor.

Janet smothered a grin at the woman lying in the bed. She was quite a sight with a black eye, several small scrapes, the bruises across her nose and cheek, and the rather impressive goose egg on the side of her head. And that was just the visible bruising; Janet had been treated to quite a varied color palette when she'd done the Major's physical. It seemed that remote control toy cars left something to be desired in the safety harness department. "Welcome back Sam," she said softly, and raised an eyebrow.

"Uh, thanks. Janet. I'm," she paused and wet her lips, "Not small anymore." Sam's brows were furrowed.

Janet didn't even bother to hide her grin this time. "No, you're not," she confirmed and laughed at Sam's expression, then finally took pity on the woman; she had just suffered from a head injury after all. "The base is secure again Sam, but you were injured. Daniel told us how to reverse the transformation so we could return all of you to normal size and treat you. The rest of SG-1 is ok, but I'm afraid the Colonel is going to need a new toy Hummer." Seeing Sam's face, and knowing the short version of events left a lot to be desired, Janet smiled sympathetically. "Look, I need to check you out, and after that you are going to rest, no buts. And then the rest of SG-1 will probably stage a coupe if I don't let them in here to see you, you can get the rest of the details then, okay?"

Sam seemed to struggle internally with the idea for a moment, but the drugs were making her eyelids heavy and her brain slow to process so the protest died on her lips, and with a sigh she gave in. "Okay." She immediately regretted it as Janet whipped out her penlight. Sam flinched away as the light was shined into her eyes.

ZoomZoomZoomZoomZoomZoomZoomZoomZoomZoomZoomZoomZoomZoomZoom 

Sam woke several hours later to whispered voices.

"Shhh! You'll wake her Jack!"

"I know what I'm doing Daniel, I am Special Ops trained after all. Besides, Carter can sleep through anything."

"I believe Major Carter is awake O'Neill."

"Son of a – Carter! Hey! How ya doin!" The Colonel stood at the foot of her bed, a boyish grin on his face, his hands suspiciously hidden behind his back. Behind him stood Daniel and Teal'c, both with their hands also hidden behind their backs, Daniel's face suspiciously bore an incriminating look of innocence and Teal'c wore an uncharacteristic display of amusement over his two teammates.

Sam blinked away the fog of sleep and drugs. "Sir. Guys. Uh, hi." She frowned.

Teal'c inclined his head. "It is good to see you well Major Carter."

"Thanks Teal'c." Sam smiled.

"Yeah Sam, glad you're ok." Daniel added his own sentiments.

"Carter, I distinctly recall telling you not to do that again." Sam looked at her scowling CO, who still had his hands behind his back.

Flushing slightly, Sam picked at the blanket. "Sorry sir."

Jack shrugged as if it really hadn't mattered. "Ah well, its okay Carter. Anyway, that's not why we're here, right guys?" The grin was back again. Sam looked up confused. Daniel was also smiling shyly, and even Teal'c had a rare smile on his face.

"Indeed Major Carter, it is not. You are in need of sustenance." Sam blinked at Teal'c's words. Before she could ask what he meant, Teal'c stepped forward, bringing forth his hidden hands to reveal a glass of a blue semi-solid jiggling mass. "I have brought Jell-O."

"And I've got cake." Jack presented a plate containing a single slice of chocolate cake, with vanilla frosting.

Daniel held up a small paper bag and grinned. "Double chocolate macadamia nut cookies."

"My heroes." Sam grinned at her teammates, and Daniel moved around to help her sit up while Jack grabbed pillows to prop her up with and Teal'c brought over a tray of more deserts for the rest of them to share in. Soon, SG-1 was talking and joking over sweet desserts, and catching up Sam on the events that had happened while she was unconscious.

"So there were only three aliens on the base, and a few dozen or so of those devices left around the base?" Sam was incredulous that it had taken such a small force to incapacitate the entire base.

"Yeah, that was it." Jack scowled into his own slice of pie. They would be reviewing security procedures to see what had gone wrong and what could be done to prevent a similar occurrence in the future. The third alien had been found attempting to gain access to the gate computer, and dial out. Luckily, Harriman had had enough warning in the control room that something was up to lock out the computers against any unauthorized use, so the aliens had not been able to leave.

"Apparently," Daniel took up the thread of the conversation, "The three on the base were a rogue group, here without official sanction of their government. They hoped to gain enough of our weapons to launch a few terrorist attacks against their rivals, using the different technology to gain an advantage in their dispute. While their own weapons are superior to ours, they are at a standstill in military advancements on their home world with no clear upper hand. Both sides possess the same weapons, counter weapons, and strategies. They'd hoped that by stealing enough of ours they could cause some damage at key sites." Daniel looked disgusted at the thought.

"That's sad." Sam frowned at the thought of how close they'd come to having those weapons taken and used in terrorist activities on another world, and was glad that the SGC did not trade weapons technology to other worlds routinely.

"The actions of this rebel group have caused leaders of both sides to reconsider negotiations for peace." Teal'c contemplated a bit of fruit as if it were the matter at hand.

"It's a start at least," Sam said.

"General Hammond turned the third alien over to their authorities when he was assured that he would receive a fair trial and punished according to their laws. Now that we've established who the true governments of the planet are, the Pentagon is considering their request to resend a team, possibly to help negotiate peace talks." Daniel leaned across the bed to swipe one of her cookies, as Sam raised her eyebrows at the news of something positive having come out of the near disaster.

"Yeah, whatever, they still trashed my Hummer." Jack grumbled, slouching into his chair, leaning it back on two legs and propping his feet up on Carter's bed as he scraped the remains of some whipped cream off his plate.

Sam frowned at the Colonel's dejected face. "Sorry to hear that sir. Janet had mentioned something about it. Do you think maybe I could take I look?"

But Jack just scowled. "I don't know Carter. This is one pile of junk I don't think even you could fix." He sighed dramatically, setting his empty pie plate down. "Oh well. I was thinking of maybe trading it in for something with wings. There's this sweet little helicopter job with dual rotors that you can fly inside…" he trailed off as he noticed everyone staring at him in mock horror. "What?"

Daniel leaned back, waving the half eaten cookie in his hands in front of him like a shield. "Um, nothing Jack, just, maybe you should let Sam take a look at that Hummer." Daniel wore a look of complete innocence, his blue eyes wide.

Teal'c inclined his head towards Daniel. "I am in agreement with Daniel Jackson, O'Neill."

Jack narrowed his eyes suspiciously at his teammates, and opened his mouth to reply, so Sam jumped in. "Really sir, I don't mind taking a look," she started to say, and was interrupted by an enormous yawn. She blinked apologetically, but the guys only grinned at her as they removed the pillows propping her despite her protests that she was fine and cleaned away the snacks and empty dishes and containers. They left bidding her a speedy recovery and Sam's eyes closed against her will as she surrendered to the inevitable pull of sleep. They continued to banter as they left, arguing over the pros and cons of which motorized vehicle Jack should bring on base as they left the infirmary.

Waking again several hours later, Sam found the infirmary quiet, and she was once again alone. Stretching, she discovered that the IV had been removed while she slept as well as the monitors. She also realized she hadn't been disturbed quite as often either. She never did understand how they expected you to rest, when they woke you up every few hours to shine a light in your eyes and check vital signs to see how you were feeling. Noticing that she also felt less stiff, Sam wondered if she'd be allowed to go home today.

Sitting up slowly, Sam was pleased to note that her head only ached a little bit and she didn't have any nausea. Stretching her arms up over her head, Sam looked around the room, and noticed a rounded object sitting on the bedside table. Curious, Sam swung her bare legs over the side of the bed, and reached out to pull the table closer to her.

Her eyebrows rose as her initial suspicions were confirmed. But what was it doing here? Then she noticed a catalog propped next to it. Picking the catalog up, she leafed through it, grinning as she realized it was for high-end electronic toys, particularly radio control vehicles. There were a few items in the catalog boldly circled, with comments scribbled in the margins, and Carter smirked over a few of them. She wasn't sure if he had made his selections based on his tastes or what he thought she might like, but on first glance she might have a few suggestions of her own... She'd have to look through again later and take notes on the specs. As she neared the last pages, a folded note fell into her lap. Curious, she flipped it open, reading the handwritten note, immediately recognizing the Colonel's scrawl.

She'd barely read the note when she'd snickered in disbelief, setting the note down on the table and picking up the other thing in both hands. Shaking her head slowly, Sam looked the bulky item over. She couldn't believe he'd actually gone and got her one, she thought he'd just been joking! Sam chuckled, setting it down, and hoped the Colonel didn't seriously expect her to use it. Although, the card had implied a bit of an invitation for a team outing, one that was rather tempting is she was perfectly honest. Well, she had to get out of the infirmary first!

_A/N: Finished? Almost! One more chapter that ties it up in a bit of an epilog for us! Sorry if you were expecting a bit more detail in the reversal of the transformation. It just seemed a bit anticlimactic to get all play-by-play, and knock them all out and blah blah blah since we'd already done that with the initial shrinking. And we've known how to do it since chapter 15, it was just a matter of getting there lol. And so tiny SG-1 saves the base and even General Hammond got to be a hero and poor Sam got whumped some more and I just thought we needed some good old team bonding over chocolate and cake and Jell-O! Anyway, something fun and a little bit different in the final chapter/epilog next!_

And thanks again for everyone who left kind words regarding the recent passing of my grandfather. We weren't able to get a Saturday burial like we'd hoped, since the church is having first holy communions that day and confessions in the afternoon, so instead he'll be laid to rest on Sunday, so I'm finding the need to occupy myself tonight so you all get another chapter!


	22. Epilogue: Training Wheels

_Epilogue: Training Wheels_

Outside on a warm sunny day nearly a month after three aliens had been defeated by four miniaturized teammates, Teal'c stared skeptically at the contrivance before him. It simply seemed too fragile to hold his weight without crumpling, although O'Neill assured him that the thin frame was durable and Major Carter had tried to explain that the triangle was the strongest geometric form. Teal'c had only frowned, raising one eyebrow to regard the object that his teammates were so enthusiastic about.

Nearby, Daniel Jackson was seated on a similar vehicle, leaning over it and watching as O'Neill tried to give instructions on the operation of the device with ill concealed amusement. Even Major Carter ducked her head, sunlight glinting on her golden hair, unsuccessfully trying to hide a smile as she used several tools to make adjustments to the object in question to customize it to his measurements. Still, as much as Teal'c trusted these three Tauri with more than his life, he was still hesitant to take their words that such a frail appearing vessel would be able to do what they claimed it could do, not to mention that the thing simply seemed too narrow to even hold itself up, let alone stay upright with the former first prime of Apophis astride it.

Forcing himself to drag his attention away from the questionable conveyance, Teal'c tried to pay close mind to the instructions O'Neill was giving him. "Now Teal'c," O'Neill was saying, "It's all about balance, and how you hold yourself. You'll want to get up a good speed, build a little momentum, and get used to how it feels to balance before you make any turns. But don't worry it's easy. Show him Daniel."

Daniel sent a reassuring grin over to Teal'c, before standing up and pushing off. Watching the other man's smooth movements, Teal'c thought it did indeed look simple, but he knew that looks could be deceptive, just like the mark on his forehead that marked him as a servant to a false god. A dead false god.

"There, you see?" spoke O'Neill, interrupting his thoughts. "Easy. Now its your turn." O'Neill motioned to where Major Carter had finished her modifications and put her tools away. Reluctantly, Teal'c approached the thing while Daniel Jackson continued to move around them in large lazy circles on the wide paved area. Following O'Neill's instructions, Teal'c mounted the metal frame, surprised when it held the weight he gingerly placed on it's seemingly too small seat.

Only slightly more confident that it didn't immediately collapse under his bulk, Teal'c placed a foot on one of the two footholds as O'Neill had instructed, and pushed off despite his inner voice screaming warnings of what might come from this foolhardy venture. Somehow, he got his other foot onto the second foothold and found that his body was instinctively moving to maintain his balance.

A voice crowed triumphantly behind him, "I knew it! I knew you could ride a bike Teal'c! Keep it up!" Instinctively, Teal'c had turned to look back at his companions, and the move quickly proved most unwise. Suddenly, his tenuous balance was lost and Teal'c found it impossible to control the bicycle, tumbling off the side of the path and into a patch of shrubbery. Spitting out leaves, Teal'c now knew the wisdom in the head covering that O'Neill had insisted he wear, chasing away his reluctance to use it by informing him it was the law while they were on base. Daniel Jackson was also wearing one, although his was red while the one O'Neill had purchased for Teal'c was black.

Quick to extract himself from the foliage, Teal'c found his friends all looking at him in concern. "You okay buddy?" O'Neill asked, righting Teal'c's bicycle for him and removing a branch from the front wheel.

"I am well O'Neill."

Teal'c found it difficult to hide his consternation at O'Neill's next words. "Good. That was a good first try. Now get back on it, if you fall of the horse you have to get back on it."

"But we are not riding equines O'Neill" Teal'c tried to stall the inevitable; he was seriously rethinking the decision to join his friends in their outdoor activity. O'Neill replied by pushing the bike towards him, and Teal'c reluctantly mounted again.

Learning quickly from his mistake, Teal'c was careful not to move suddenly again. Over the next half hour, he was able to pick up speed and make turns on the wide flat area O'Neill had started him on, working up to tighter turns, faster speeds, and inclines. By the time O'Neill pronounced him ready to ride with the group, Teal'c was feeling slightly exhilarated, and more than ready to test his new-found prowess on the wide paved trail that wound lazily down the side of the mountain. Daniel Jackson seemed eager to go as well.

"Okay you two, Carter and I will meet you at the bottom of the trail, near the picnic tables." O'Neill followed Major Carter towards the small copse of trees where earlier he'd vaguely indicated that he'd left his bike with Carter's when Teal'c had inquired why they hadn't been on one like Daniel Jackson.

Daniel frowned after O'Neill, blinking in confusion. "Uh, Jack, I thought you were going to be riding with us?"

Jack wheeled his bike out and Sam did the same as Jack waved a hand in dismissal before the two of them strapped on gloves and helmets. Teal'c noted that their vehicles seemed far superior to his and Daniel Jackson's, as both looked sturdier, and unlike the smooth narrow tires on his and Jackson's bikes, O'Neill and Major Carter's bikes had wide tires with heavy treads. He also noted that the helmets the other two were securing were different as well. Instead of the vented vaguely egg shaped ones he and Daniel Jackson wore, the ones O'Neill and Major Carter were wearing covered their full heads, and had a guard to cover their lower faces as well. In fact, the helmet that Major Carter was wearing looked vaguely familiar, Teal'c recognized it as the one that had been sitting on the table by her bedside when SG-1 had gone to take the Major home on her release from the infirmary the month previous. He'd been curious about it's presence, but the Colonel had bustled them all out of there so fast he'd not been able to voice his question.

"Oh, we're going biking Daniel, just not on the same trail as you two." At that statement, Jack waved vaguely off to a gap in the trees, to what appeared to be little more than a glorified game trail.

Daniel's brow furrowed as he looked at the two of them in disbelief. "You're gonna ride down that trail?"

Jack shrugged, as if it made perfect sense. "It's a shortcut." Flashing a quick grin, Jack mounted his bike. Sam was already on hers and smiled too, her eyes sparkling with excitement. The bruises from several weeks ago had already faded, and she showed no signs of her previous injuries. Before Daniel or Teal'c could collect their thoughts or offer protest, the other two had pushed off into the opening, disappearing out of sight almost immediately. Still somewhat surprised, Daniel moved to the space they'd entered and peered down the trail. Two figures were moving rapidly down the steep side of the mountain, despite the twisting nature of the dirt trail and the presence of a multitude of trees, rocks, logs, and other obstacles.

"Uh, maybe we should start down and make sure they get there without breaking their necks along the way." Daniel adjusted his helmet a bit, heading his bike in the right direction for the paved pathway down the mountain. There was no way Teal'c or Daniel's bikes would make it on the rough trail that Sam and Jack had taken.

Teal'c brought his bicycle alongside Daniel Jackson's, inclining his head towards the other man. "Indeed. However, I believe I will make it to the rendezvous point before you." With that, Teal'c pushed off, pulling away from the startled archeologist with surprising speed.

Daniel blinked several times, before muttering under his breath, "Oh yeah, we'll see about that!" The challenge accepted, Daniel took off after Teal'c, not the least bit concerned about the other man's lead. Daniel grinned, and the majesty of the Colorado Rockies soon surrounded them both, and the tall pines dwarfed the four tiny racing figures on bikes. But for the members of the team called SG-1, the world didn't seem quite that big as long as they had each other.

_The End_

A/N: And I hope you enjoyed it! It was a lot of fun, although it sure did take a long time, didn't it? I did take a bit of creative reign with the size of SG-1 and the Hummer though, they are about 1-2 inches or thereabouts for the purpose of this fic. The Hummer was maybe a 1:12 or 1:18 scale model, but I based it on a 2 foot detailed 1:6 scale model I found (opening doors, lights, sounds etc, very cool) since the smaller ones lacked the details I needed. (SMRP for the big Hummer is around $99) I figured Jack had found a high-end toy somewhere lol.

This last chapter begged to be written from Teal'c's POV (sorry for those hoping for some S/J, they'll be some in the next fic, promise, not to mention Jack gets nekkid heh heh nuff said), and I almost published the chapter as a stand alone one shot piece, until I thought of the bit about Jack getting Carter a helmet, since I kept whumping on her so much. (I did say I was gonna whack her on the head as much as I could just so Jack would have to look in her eyes each time didn't I? Heh.) So I thought the helmet bit would tie in the chapter if Jack would actually go as far to get her one, and than invite her on a little adventure after witnessing the speed demon Carter emerge. I never did get the chance to write in Carter and Jack getting remote control vehicles, guess we'll just have to save that for another fic hmm? Well, anyway, thank you all for bearing with me on my "big" adventure lol. And thanks for all the reviews! Again, I hope you enjoyed the story!


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